Blink on Crime Friday Funny: Indiana Lawyer Plays Oscar the Grouch

Posted by BOC Staff | Bizarre Crime | Friday 19 June 2009 11:15 am

Jeffersonville, In– For an afternoon treat and break from the Anthonys for a few. Enjoy.


Dumpster Diving Attorney Larry Wilder  has a headache today. In fact, He has an imageache. Wilder, after a night of dining and drinking with friends was found in the garbage this morning after being driven home in a Clients limo and has no memory of what happened, or how his vertical sewage swim occurred.

Wilder, the attorney for the City of Jeffersonville, will not be facing any criminal charges, but the city will be meeting next week to discuss his future representation efforts on their behalf. Pictured here in a pre-Jaegar afternoon last week.


Reached for comment late this morning dressed in a bathrobe holding a glass of fizzing alka seltzer, “Wild” Wilder had this to say:

SSSh. Come in and dont turn the light on.

No, how the **** should I know? I know one thing, I will get that Son of a B****  back. He’s still pissed I schtuped that chic at our frat. Her eyes were too far apart and she wore her pants up to her rack, why the f**** would anybody think he’d care. Anybody think to ask where the f*** the picture came from? Morons.

Co-workers in the City Center, speaking to on the condition of anonymity, offered this insight:

Maybe he was thinking about running the Garbage Division and he was doing research. You never know. You press are all alike trying to get the dirt on people. Wait, he was dirty.. HA HAHA I made a joke, you can quote me. Well, the funny part, not my name, I owe him $50 for getting me out of…. What the hell am I telling you this for?

A lawyer, in the garbage? Dude, thats like composte Carma right there.

Maybe somebody told him his concsious was in there.

Did anyone think to check his ass for writing? That’s the first thing I would do. Maybe it’s a gang of liberal Berkley types sending a message about the stench of the Legal community permeating their chi.

He was looking for my phone number, he’s been chasing me around for years. After I heard he settled that big case I broke down and gave it to him, he said he threw it out by accident.

All I know is that I am headed to Lowes right now to buy lids to all my trash cans. This guy could be “serial” you know what I mean? I don’t want my ass up in the air on top of 800 cat food cans on the front page. No Sir.

Don’y let that jerk off fool ya– he laid on the ground in that can until the press left rather than let anyone see him without that Vitalis soaked rug that was stuck to a KY coupon. He is so full of himself.


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  1. Annals says:

    A break from the Anthonys? No ma’am. We know from Cindy Anthony that lying is not a crime. I’ll go a step farther and say that lying in a garbage can is not a crime.

  2. FairestWitness says:

    ROFLMAO! I’ve been completely shitfaced before and passed on the bathroom floor, but never outside in the neighbor’s garbage can. Boy oh boy, that’s really a rotten joke to play on somebody. And it’s all over the national airwaves and Internet. This guy’s in a world of hurt, not including the gigantic hangover!

  3. PamTX says:

    Perfect position for a couple lawyers I can think of!!!!

  4. Cheryl says:

    he threw himself away !! you know he is no good now…..hysterical – I bet his career is ruined!

  5. jackie says:

    Wow.. He just became the poster boy for “GLAD”.

  6. radiogirl says:

    Isn’t that where you usually need to go to get a lawyer?

    When you don’t bag it up properly ….they won’t pick it up.

    Look quick folks …a lawyer in it’s natural habitat.

    Somebody please stop me!!!!!!

    Thanks for the laughs Blink!!

    Now that’s the spirit, tee hee!

  7. R.L.Haley says:

    Wow! a photo of one , captured in its natural habitat very rare thanks for the laugh Blink

  8. Bearlyhere says:

    Oh, so that’s what they mean by bottom feeder.
    Ba dump dump, Good One.

  9. mamacrazy30 says:

    i went to law school and all i got was this stupid can…

  10. chitown lady says:

    This picture should go up in EVERY Unem[ployment office in AMERICA…..with the caption…….”Don’t get canned for NOT doing your job !

    Blink that Picture is priceless….! yeah made my day !

  11. idiot wind says:

    Blink, that picture is priceless.

  12. Red Ranger says:

    I apologize in advance,

    Looks like he just finished working on a case. 24 cans per case.

    Headline News- “Attorney finds a few bombshells in his briefs”

    I think I owe a second apology….

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