Christine Sheddy Case: Murder in Maryland Chapter I
To Love a Malignant Narcissist
No man is worth your tears and the one that is won’t make you cry – Brian Littrell
Christine Sheddy was in love with Levi Hall before the Love American Style fireworks faded from her purview at fist sight. The problem was, she was dating Levi’s brother Stanley. Stanley beat up an 80 year old woman at an outlet store in Rehoboth Beach while stealing her purse. Out of the frying pan and into the inferno she lept.
In 2002 Christine secretly began dating Levi. At the time, Christine was dealing with the demands of being a single Mother to her two year old daughter Haylie, and living under the same roof as her Mom, after she had become a mom. Tough Stuff. Christines romantic relationship ended with Haylies dad Jim a few months earlier but they remained close friends.
When Christine became pregnant with the couples first son her family was floored. They had been told by Christine she and Levi were just friends; not the benefit kind. Isaac Hall was born May 1, 2003.
Levi, Isaac and Christine moved into Levis’ Mother, Joyce Halls’ home in Delaware. At the time, Haylies father was now battling cancer which did not have a good prognosis. The decision was made for Haylie to remain with the Dodenhoffs, Christine’s parents, to both stay close to her ailing Dad, and to keep her continuity.
Life at Hall House for the new family was anything but bliss. Joyce, or Mother Hall as Christine never called her, was a bit of a miser. She charged 
them most of what Levi made at his minimum wage job for rent and when that did not quite put her in the black, she took side jobs like charging Levi $10 a trip to take her to Walmart, which was one mile from her home. Lynn and Steve Dodenhoff opened their home to Christine, their new grandson, and Levi.
It became apparent very quickly to Lynn and Steve that Levi Hall was a lazy and abusive malignant narcissist; and the love of Christines life.
Levi lost his job in the first week they moved back to Christines home. Five weeks later when he created a permanent indentation in the couch the exact size and shape of his ass but did not have so much as a job interview, he was asked to leave.
Christine believed Levi had presto-change-o capabilities because he now had Isaac and her to provide for. Having a child and babyMomma for this guy was as useless as it would be to give Octomom a third ovary.
Christine got her first black eye, courtesy of Levi, among other bruises.
Stop me if you’ve heard this before. Christine and Isaac moved back with Mom Mom.
The ensuing co-dependent, daily teeter-totter that comes with the boy 
promising to change, the girl desperately wanting to believe he will, builds to crescendo in a final stand off at 2am in the Dodenhoff front yard after Christine had returned earlier with her most recent black eye.
Steve Dodenhoff interrupted Levi’s attempt at a Stanley and Stella reenactment by heading Levi off and smacking the butt out his mouth. Not to be glib, but that had to feel good.
As any parent attempting to save their daughter from the abuse funnel would do, the Dodenhoffs banned Levi from their property and would not allow him to call the home. If your thinking that is the quickest way to the bottom of the quicksand, your right.
What other choice can one make? Lynn Dodenhoff had already lost an adult son, Michael, who was murdered in a violent confrontation 14 years earlier. She had to do everything she could to save Christine from a similar fate, of course.
Christine and Levi welcomed their second son, Zeke Hall, on January 7, 2005.
Haylie’s Father Jim, died of cancer and the Dodenhoffs adopted Haylie to keep her out of the abusive situation her Mom seemed content to tolerate. She knew him better than anyone, she was positive this time, with new baby Zeke in tow, it was going to work out.
Contributing Editors to this article: Candice Bond, Kate Mills, Ryan Tettemer, Lucas Cain
Audio/Video/Images by Klaasend
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I need tissues blink, the way you tell a story. I am still keeping christine and her family, who’s ordeal I have been researching, in my thoughts and prayers. I thought about this stoey all day. Talking to my friends and coworkers about her story. Let’s find christine then let’s get this sleazeball. Anything I can do?
Boo, thank you. Keep caring, and spreading the word. There is so much to this story by the end your head will be spinning. Lynn and her family want the emphasis to be on progressing the case to find Christine.
Unfortunately, there are enough sleazeballs in this tale to have a PYOS day. Pick your own sleazeball.
Christine was a kind-hearted soul.
B
Oh my God..this is the stuff most abusive relationships are made of..an abuser who says he’ll change and a situation that sets him off..new baby.. another mouth to feed..when he can’t even support himself, and someone who really doesn’t think about the needs of others…just his next high.
I know how this story ends..because we have the ending first..but anyone with an ounce of sense..hello LE, knows that domestic abuse, mixed with drugs and alcohol and a narcissist turns ugly and death is very likely to ensue.
LE in this small town in Maryland need to see this as a wake up call to have someone instruct them that domestic abuse goes beyond broken dishes, a black eye and a few nights in jail to cool off.
Once again prayers to Christine’s soul and her family.
I cant add a thing to that, well said my dear friend.
B
are you able to give more details of Michael’s death? How sad…so sad for Lynn.
Yes, Michael was beat to death at a party for basically a case of mistaken identity. There were no drugs or alcohol in his system, and the persons responsible have been brought to justice. Did you ask yourself how much can a woman take? I know, me too.
B
Also I want to post that I had a coworker who was shot and killed on her lunch break by an ex boyfriend. She worked at another call center so I never knew her but the company sent an email telling us and listing numbers we can contact if we are in similar situations confidential numbers, if we need help.
There may be others who read hear in situations of violence and afraid to say so who don’t feel they have resources but they do. At the cell phone company I work for we donate phones to local dm shelters so if anyone needs help seek out one of those shelters they will help.
Here is a link to the national domestic violence hotline which provides 24 hour assistance in all 50 states. http://www.ndvh.org
Here is the number to NDVH 1800-799-SAFE(7233) TTY 1800-787-3224 national domestic violence hotline. You are not alone.
ughh…nevermind…it has nothing to do with this case. forgive me.
Nope Leroy, was fair and intelligent question, I asked the same of Lynn, that’s how I knew the answer.
B
Oh and one more comment(pinky swear) so as not to take up the whole page, but your reference to the azz print on the couch and octomom’s third ovary, WELL laughter through tears, right.
Yes, exactly. The subject matter in this unfortunate case is going to darken as we go.
Thank you for your contributions on domestic violence resources, it is invaluable, and frankly the sub-message here.
B
God Blink, I don’t know if I can stand it. My heart is breaking already. I feel so deeply for the dream that Christine had and was willing to pursue at any cost. Bless her heart.
Sitting with tears. Never been in an abusive relationship, but they are so common nowadays.
Don’t know the sample size, but one study in my State said that almost 50% of the married women had been hit within the past year and women of a certain age and cultural background were much more likely to die from murder at the hands of their significant other than any other manner.
I am a prayer person. A strategic intercessor. Basically, I look up negative societal trends in my area, and pray for God to change them.
I am convinced that He can make those bigger societal changes.
I am also convinced that a community like this can do a whole lot!
Thanks Blink!
Lord, shine Your light and bring forth some real answers for this family, In Jesus Name Oh, and protect other women from this group of predators, please! Amen
I have no clue what a strategic intercessor is, but I respect your comments just the same
B
Thanks Boo, for your information about abuse victims, I hope those frightened and torn women out there will hear our plea…GET OUT AND DON’T WAIT. (In the town where I am from)a woman finally made up her mind and went to our police station to get a restraining order, only to be shot to death ON THE STAIRS at the station. So it is NEVER TOO SOON TO DO SOMETHING before a tragedy happens…JUST DO IT, and I don’t mean the Nike commercial.
Bottomline,
I have to share something personal as it is VERY important if you are a VICTIM of violence.
The woman will just KNOW how far she can go with her abuser to stay alive. I got a restraining order and got choked with it, so they don’t always work and when a woman leaves out of the abusers house (control) is when she is in the MOST dangerous, volatile time.
She MUST have an escape plan, SHE MUST have someone from the shelter meet her in a safe public place.
She must be willing to get herself and children out for good as she can get help , but sometimes people dont know anything about this issue and it can cost someone their life.
Nicole Simpson was a friend of mine… just an awful loss, she felt safe in her own home…
Blink,
this is the first I heard of this case.. I am looking forward to following along…..
Blink,
I have passed your plea for help on this case to family and friends in my world. I hope some of them have the time. The more minds the better.
Is it to soon to ask questions If not then…. Are you saying that Christine was secretly dating Levi while still maintaining a relationship with Stanley? At least until Stanley went to jail which I assume he did. I also assume Stanley found out about Levi at some point. Or was/is Stanley in jail at the time of this murder/dissapperance and it doesn’t matter what he and Levi’s relationship was? Or was Christine secretly dating Levi in spite of her parents approval?
TY, and no, Christine knew Stanley when she was younger, no relationship, then they dated briefly, nothing serious. There was no battle between the brothers over it or anything. Christine was dating Levi secretly because she knew her parents would not want someone with his habits and family life around Haylie, or Christine for that matter.
B
I have a good friend who’s daughter is in about the same situation as Christine was. Her abusive husband hits and cheats on her…yet she will not move out of the home where she, her insignificant other, and their 3 yr old son live with HIS mother who has also hit her. My friend is overcome with what to do since her daughter is of age and refuses to go anywhere…convinced it will “get better”. I’ve honestly had the thoughts cross my mind one day my friend will call and tell me her daughter is missing. See…same as with Christine, the mother-in-law wants the grandson for HERSELF and has told my friend’s daughter she will fight her in court for custody and win no matter what, so she’s too afraid to lose her son to go anywhere (the mother was an armed guard at an amunitions plant until she was fired….) So, I pray nothing terrible happens to this young woman. The boy she’s married to is a jerk. Into drugs, was in trouble for armed robbery of a convenient store (got off cuz he ratted on the others and he was “only getaway driver”).
In closing, this is a huge problem all over. Girls with low self-esteem who need to be shown how to love their OWN lives again. Where to we start????
Oh, I must add to #18 another twist that would be hillarious is not so backwards! My friend’s daughter did flee with her son and go back to her mom’s home (my friend) once after both the mother-in-law and husband had physically assaulted her. The boy (name is Zac) showed up at the house demanding his wife and son come out. My friend flat refused to let him in so Zac proceeded to force his way in…and guess what? My friend is a farmer’s wife and tough. She beat the living HELL out of that young man and know what? Although her daughter was upstairs with black eye, messed up shoulder (from the mother-in-law) and a fat lip…Zac leaves, calls police, and MY FRIEND gets charged with aggrevated assault on him!!! The officers actually APPOLOGIZED to her with they came to arrest her and said they wished they didn’t have to cuz he obviously deserved it! Oh well, I’m glad she beat his ass…too bad it didn’t help and her daughter went back anyway. Just frustrates me so bad.
That is an important lesson. Had your friend called LE and had him arrested for tresspassing, and probably other more serious things, upon visual acknowledgement of her bruising and a statement if she were to give one, and that girl beating punks hubby would have landed his Azz in the pokey. DO NOT take matters into your own hands. Know the Domestic Violence Laws in your area, they differ widely.
I’m gonna be honest folks, I find men that verbally or physically abuse women, in any capacity, second on the sleazeball food chain only to pedophiles and sex offenders of any kind.
B
I worked as an advocate at a domestic violence shelter fpr several years. Christine’s situation is a far too common scenario. To the novice leaving the situation/relationship seems like a logical solution. However,logic is rarely present within domestic violence situations. The emotional, psychological, & often financial (not in this case)entanglement creates a virtual prison for the victim(s). Statistically victims leave 7 times before their final exit/escape unless they are murdered. It is indeed a sad, sad situation for the victim & their loved ones. No one escapes the damage. Children are often silent victims of this hideous crime. As a survivor I am personally as well as professionally aware of the long term effects of experiencing and/or witnessing domestic violence. Courage, perseverance & help/support from professionals,family & friends is vital. Blink, I hope you & your staff will uncover the truth, identify those responsible for Christine’s demise & let the criminal justice system to work. Shalom, Sharai
Thx Blink…and you’re correct. My friend does have a no tresspass order on Zac now, but since her daughter’s gone back, he doesn’t come around anyway. When in the heat of a situation, many people simply react without thinking. Personally, I admit as one who has practiced kickboxing for over 10 yrs…I put that boy on the floor once myself (in my friend;s kitchen) the day we found he had gotten the daughter pregnant (she was 17, he was 19 and they were not yet married). He was refusing to leave that day as well. See…he is only capable of hitting women who are afraid of him. My friend and I would tear him limb from limb if it were legal. He’s really just a whimpy coward, trust me. I’ll lay off this subject cuz it’s supposed to be about Christine, but sadly there are so many Christines…….
Oh my, Blink. I keep thinking about the horrid lot in life Christine’s parents, Lynn & Steve, have been dealt. Two murdered children? How would one cope with a tragedy like this?
Plus, having to care for and raise their 3 small grandchildren after such a horror. The sadness must be incredibly deep. I am so very sorry for their enormous losses and sorrow.
I don’t understand how any woman could think so little of herself that she accepts abusive treatment like this. Or that any mother would subject her children to this unholy, unhealthy environment. Plus to have a child with the abuser thinking the baby will motivate better behavior and instill responsibility in him was naive. When that plan failed to produce the desired results, she had another child hoping the 2nd baby would do what the 1st didn’t. Now, that was stupid.
The logic escapes me. They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Too bad poor Christine didn’t live long enough to learn this valuable concept. She must have so believed in family, no doubt from the loving home and family she came from, that she couldn’t fathom anyone who didn’t know and appreciate that.
Our culture has spent decades castigating folks who are “judgmental” toward fellow citizens of less-than-stellar character; i.e.,thugs like Levi. So much so that even the knowledge required to possess good judgment and the ability to analyze bad character have been completely erased from our society. The more we make excuses for lawlessness and violence, the more crime and violence there is and will be.
This story is …. maddening. If Levi had been arrested, tried, convicted and sent to prison when he gave Christine that first black eye, just think how different this story would be. There wouldn’t be one.
When we don’t hold criminals to account for their crimes, they escalate and escalate until they become killers. Domestic violence is no different from ANY violent crime and should be treated as such. I am disgusted.
I cant disagree with anything you said, but I can say that I would prefer to understand what makes a woman vulnerable to such behaviors, and learn from them and teach others than to make judgements. We are not all born with the ability to make good choices, unfortunately. If some of us are, I feel obligated to pay it forward for people like Christine, so that her death is not in vein.
B
Two children murdered. One is more than any heart should have to take.
I didn’t mean to be so judgmental. The fact is I think Christine was probably raised in a wholesome, healthy, loving family. I don’t think she knew the true danger she was in. Based her life’s experience and belief system, I’m sure she thought she was doing the right thing. She just didn’t know or believe there were people who have no familial feelings or responsibility. She was in love with who she thought Levi was and that love blinded her to the truth.
I agree we need to help all women who find themselves in these horrible circumstances. We should start with the criminal justice system. If domestic violence was considered a serious crime and harsh punishment meted out to the perpetrators of it, it’s my belief we’d see a massive decline in the murder rate among spouses and lovers.
The judgment I was referring to was that of law-abiding citizens being incapable, unwilling or unable to take a stand against fellow citizens of bad character, idleness and low morals. We need to get back to holding bad people accountable for their bad behavior and demanding that they mend their evil ways or suffer the consequences. We should return to the shutting out of bad citizens, shunning them!
This attitude of live and let live; accepting everyone as worthy, regardless of their violence, dishonesty or criminal conduct, is destroying civilized society. It’s creating these pieces of excrement because they’re allowed to be losers. The privilege of being an American, with its freedom and opportunities, comes with responsibility. It’s time to demand it from those who won’t do the right thing out of choice.
Can you tell us more about the last time that Christine was seen? I read that her friend Jimmy spoke with her on the phone the evening of the 12th. Do we know what happened that evening? Can anyone confirm that Christine was at the farm other than Jr. and Tia? One other question, how long had Christine been there? I may be pushing the cart before the horse, if so, sorry. I will try to be patient.
Nope, great questions, we will get there.
B
Blink, America’s Most Wanted has a Web Exclusive webpage about this case. Were you aware of that? Here’s the link:
http://www.amw.com/missing_persons/brief.cfm?id=55640
Yes, thanks we are, did not net any new leads unfortunately.
B
One thing that really bothers me…alot, is the fact that so many of these women keep having children! Birth control is available to all of them. It is almost shameful to bring little ones into these dangerous situations. Unless, like Christine<, they have loving grandparents, these babies will probably go to foster homes. Not all foster homes are good,and adoptions are rare. These precious babies deserve so much more! Maybe requiring all high school seniors to take Parenting Class will help, at least it can’t hurt.
My prayers to Christine’s family.
In response to post #22:
“I don’t understand how any woman could think so little of herself that she accepts abusive treatment like this. Or that any mother would subject her children to this unholy, unhealthy environment. Plus to have a child with the abuser thinking the baby will motivate better behavior and instill responsibility in him was naive. When that plan failed to produce the desired results, she had another child hoping the 2nd baby would do what the 1st didn’t. Now, that was stupid.”
I realize how hard it is for people who have never been in this type of situation to understand it. I will do my best to try to explain how it works from my point of view…
First off, a woman does not have to think little of herself, be “stupid” or be “naive” to end up in this place. There are many professional people who have been fooled by these types. And, I totally disagree with the insinuation above that she was a bad mother.
This type of guy knows exactly what he is doing. He meets a girl (victim), gives her all kinds of attention, loads her with compiments, makes her feel special. Tells her she’s the only one, nobody else understands him, etc. He tells her over and over again, every day how special she is, how beautiful she is, how much he loves her. He says all the things she wants to hear. They have a great time together, enjoy each other’s company, laugh a lot, feel young and alive, and on top of the world. He seems “too good to be true” (and he is). The perfect man…charming, sweet, nurturing, yet masculine and “protective”. After hearing these things (compliments, etc.) over and over, she will eventually start to believe him. She falls head over heels in love with the guy. And all she wants is more of this “good” feeling. It is like an addiction.
He probably also tells her how he wants to have children with her. What a wonderful family they’ll have, how beautiful the children will be. This makes her feel like he really loves her. All part of the ploy.
Now he’s got her hooked. Now, he can let some of his “bad” side come through. He starts with the insults, she can’t do anything right, tries to make her feel bad about herself, abuses her. Now, her mind is confused. She feels like she has done something to make him act this way. It’s HER fault. So, she tries to be better, walks on eggshells hoping not to upset him. Makes excuses for him. She knows after all, what a “good guy” he can be.
If it gets to the point where he feels he is losing control of her, he will start with all the lovey-dovey stuff again, the compliments, tell her how special she is, how much he loves her, on and on. This is the feeling she wants. She is drawn back into it.
This goes on and on, back and forth. He’s the “perfect guy” for a while, then he’s the “bad” guy. Building her up, then breaking her down — over and over again. “Head games” in the truest sense of the term. She has been “brainwashed”. She keeps going back because she wants the “good feeling” back. She wants that “perfect” part of her life back. Somehow, all the “bad” things are pushed to the side.
It is EXTREMELY hard for someone to get out of this situation. And, if they are lucky enough to get out of it, it takes a long, long time for them to recover from it and get their head on straight again. You have to realize that the “victim’s” head is very messed up by then.
I guess this is the best I can do in an attempt to explain. I hope it makes some kind of sense to people so they might better understand.
as a victim of serius abuse, I am saddened at this story, I was one of the lucky ones to get out of this kind of nightmare in time, being beaten raped stabbed only made me stronger in the fight…happy to say I’ve never been back in that even after 23 years….when I researched this so many things were brought back into my heart, it only makes me want to fight harder for the ones not strong enough to fight for themselves….
where can I find more on this case? been looking all day?
thanks again Blink for taking care of he fallen and the forgotten…..much love!
Fairwitness,
sadly us women just at times feel the need for love any kind of love, being a single mom of 3 kids i went through that just wanting someone anyone….but luckily some of use figure it out, some dont that is the tragedy….
we need to raise our girls better we need to teach them to be self supporting and self loving…not raise them to be what I call the “Florence Nightingale Syndrome” nurse maid and care taker to ALL….
ladies we need to nurse ourselves before we can nurse others..if we are unnursed we are not strong enough in our hearts and souls to nurse others.
JMO…..
Something just occurred to me. Who’s to say she was actually killed the day/night she was reported missing, or even on that property? WHAT IF she was removed from the property, still alive, and the crimes were commited elsewhere, maybe even having waited to ensure no forensic evidence would be found?
That’s an excellent question, you will see we pretty much count that out. But thinking outside the box before you really even know what is “in” the box is an enviable skill! Kudos.
B
It’s a shame this situation ended the way it obviously did but I have to ask….why do these unemployed, uneducated, homeless people keep having kids? They can’t learn their lesson with one child? They have to have multiple children? It’s a deep, dark well that you’re never going to get out of if the solution is to keep having more kids. Now ALL these kids without a mother of any calibur and scum for a “father.” It’s very discouraging and depressing.
You know, I don’t advocate anyone in the situations you mention having unplanned pregnancies, etc.
I also don’t advocate judgemental aholes who think there society consists of them sitting in a bubble of rightous goo.
If that is your way to say it’s ok for this young woman to be tossed aside like garbage to rot, I would say there is alot more “caliber” in her than you. She saved puppies from a fire there.
On that note, If I am being too harsh it’s because I may have walked right over this girl and not known it, and how anyone can be flip about that set of circumstances makes me ill.
B
I’d like to add something to the conversation about women getting into these kind of relationships, in the hopes that those who don’t understand how this happens, might see it differently.
For the most part, in the beginning, these men are charming, wonderful and treat the woman wonderfully…for the most part, even better than ‘regular’ guys have treated them before…….got me?
Just like (or better than) most anyone else begins a NORMAL relationship. Re-read that last sentence please. So a woman may think, ‘hey this is IT, this is what I’ve been hoping for in my life from a partner, for companionship. This is love.’ (Now, unless you’re willing to settle for someone to avoid being alone, who doesn’t think that’s an awesome feeling?)
Particularly if you’ve had tragedy or been struggling (read single mom), you’re even more vulnerable to the ‘beauty’ of this relationship, it’s grounding, it feels great.
The problem with a Narcississt or someone with Anti Social Personality Disorder, et al., is THEY CHANGE after a few months, usually subtly at first……and you don’t know you’re dealing with one until it’s too late. Some people don’t realize what ‘personality disorders’ are, nor know that they exist, and they never quite get it.
If the significant other’s got ‘red flags’ and had a rough past, they have lot’s of explanations about why, and about how ‘great’ this new woman is, and how ‘different’ this relationship is now. In other words, YOU’RE SPECIAL to them, you’re different, what human on earth doesn’t find that appealing ????
When you’re in a relationship like that, which seems wonderful, and the other person suddenly starts to subtly change, and you don’t know why….what do you do??? You start to question WHY….most women (people) start to question themselves…and what they’ve done, or haven’t done, and they TRY GET IT BACK TO GOOD. And they keep trying! Don’t most people question it if something starts to cool even in a normal relationship when everythings been seemingly great???
And the problem is, the asshole either tells them nothing (very hard to talk too, which is another ploy), or tells them if they’d only……blah, blah, blah, it would be better again.
Folks, this is the HOOK. The guy (sorry sometimes disordered woman too) does this over and over in their relationships. But, the ‘new love’ doesn’t know this!
And if the pity story and heart strings get pulled, the partner is going to ‘save them’ from this horrible past. It’s different this time because YOU’RE so special and different, remember?
And, if you’re still reading….remember this, this relationship mirrors any new relationship, the difference is the extremes of the highs and lows. In other words, everyone is on their best behavior at first, and everyone relaxes a bit after they are comfortable in a relationship; but with someone like this, the extremes of the good and the bad are the defining moments. I’d like to think people with happy relationships can start with those same ‘highs’, I know I have before, and the person wasn’t disordered.
But what you don’t know is these people are playing ‘head games’ with your emotions and getting off on getting over on you and dominating the relationship. They don’t even admit or acknowledge this to themselves for the most part, but it IS the pattern they repeat in their relationships. Make sense? Want to know why? They don’t attach to others like normal people do. That’s my theory.
I am strong, self sufficient and not usually a dumb ass. But after 45 years of living, never having been in an abusive relationship like this before in my life…… I did meet someone like this and got fooled. Thank goodness after the first 3 months of bliss, and the next 5 months of continually spiraling downward, I got a ‘wake up call’ and I got out. But let me tell you, it messes with your head and your heart, and it’s very hard, no matter how strong you are, you are vulnerable to people like this.
I never thought this could happen to ‘me’, and I look back and still marvel at the thoughts I had at that time. I’ve had to learn to forgive myself, and I do not judge other women, ‘who have no self esteem’ … bullshit. Thank your lucky soul if you’ve never had do deal with someone like this, because NO ONE is immune.
Single mothers ARE vulnerable people in our soceity. I could rant further, but I think it’s enough for today. Thanks for the therapy session Blink…and ….you know ..well I try not to rant too often.
Riddle in the Raw.
Raw Riddle- Bravo. I sincerely appreciate your sharing.
B
……and BTW….the situation I endured never rose to the ‘level’ of physical abuse, but I don’t doubt it was rising to that next. Stealthy mental abuse is also incidious, and usually precedes the physical.
And what made me realize I had to get out, and why didn’t it rise to that? ………. certainly not my holier than anybody else self esteem. I’m not sure what did, but I know it sure as hell wasn’t anything I’d claim I have over others in the same circumstances. The worst thing one can do to a woman in those circumstances is to re-victimize the victim by telling her (directly or not), that there’s something wrong with HER. It’s a double whammy. I rest my case for real Blink.
True Dat.
If the problem is rooted in self-esteem deficit, I dont see how insulting someone does anything but perpetuate the problem.
Little story: When my sister and I were little, we went with our Mom for new sneakers. All the way home she said.. “I bet I can beat you now with my new sneakers, you’ll see.” I can even remember exactly what they looked like. They were light blue with a white stripe (70′s). As soon as we got home, she laced up, and challenged me to a sprint down the street.
I smoked her like she was standing still. She was bawling. We went back to the house and my Mom took one look at me and said one thing, “Would it have killed you to let her win?”
Instead of, ..” great job future track star daughter o’mine.” I got the hairy-eyeball, cold-shoulder combo.
What an utter self-absorbed, a hole big sister I was.
I am telling this very personal story because my sister did struggle with self esteem issues for years. Truth is, she could very well have ended up like Christine. Same parents, same house, same rules, no difference.
Except I always thought I could do anything in the world without question, and she did not.
After a period of some years of struggle for her, when my sister graduated at the top of her class with a Nuc Med degree, I wrote in her graduation card:
Im sorry I did not let you win that race with your new sneakers. I would give anything to go back there and let you win. Today, you win.
She said- “What in the Hell and what race and what sneakers are you talking about?”
Point is, some women, people, are just made differently, and it does not make them right or wrong. Perfect is a myth. Various and sundry levels of imperfect is what we all are, so in essence, why not take notes on each others strengths and weaknesses and lift each other up to “even”?
great start, I’m on pins and needles here waiting.
wake up sounds like the lead detective that took control of this case at the beginning, without that attitude this may have been solved in a few days.
Blink, has anyone ever told you how angry you are when your glib?
I am not sure how to take that Boo, but in honesty, I am angry. There is a dead woman that is a Mother, daughter, sister and friend that did not deserve this, and people that are the literal dregs of society are responsible.
B
#36 blink I was trying to make a point to that poster who was belittling christine and her situation. I admire your writing very much but I don’t think “that poster” gets the point. I wish all who read this story would get the point already, its about the loss of a beautiful woman, who was a mother, daughter, sister.cousin, friend. You are angry for christine. You understand the loss. Thank you for sharing christine’s story.
Understood and thank you for that. I thank Lynn, Jenn, Q, and other unamed sources that will not rest until Christine is home.
B
Blink..where are all the players today? Levi, his Mom, Tia, her Mom, Jr, (we know most of his family is either in jail..or about to get arrested for the umpteenth time for either drugs or prostitution).
People in a small town ususally talk..so where is the chatter..someone knows something..someone had to brag about this..or say they knew so and so..give us a bone here.
Blink, i am the cousin of christine and i hope to god all the work your doing for us will bring our family to rest, also the dirt balls to justice, and bring our loved one home. I see it as who ever did this will have to stand before god and be senteniced by him as well as our justice system.
Thank you very much for all the help. Me and my family appreciate it very much.
As do I my friend, and I know.
B
Riddle, excellent post. I tried to explain the best I could, but you did a much better job than I. Thank you.
Blink, that was a great story, and I absolutely loved the very last line…”lift each other up to ‘even’”.
To all who responded to my lack of understanding, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Truly, I was lamenting the fact that nice girls, like Christine, from nurturing, loving upbringings, are so naive that they do not understand the brutal reality that there are monsters out there, ready to ruin their lives. I was also disgusted that America is a place where sweet, well-intentioned women are so at risk. They should be taken care of and protected.
The reason they are not is because this society makes excuses for every violent aHole out there, explaining away the pure evil in them, instead of holding them to account in the judicial system.
I will say this as plainly as I can:
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PERPETRATORS SHOULD BE CHARGED WITH SERIOUS CRIMEs & WHEN CONVICTED, SERVE CONSIDERABLE PRISON TIME FOR IT.
NO MORE SLAPS ON THE WRISTS FOR BLACKENING THE OL’ LADY’S EYES OR BUSTING HER LIP.
Oh, you wait, I have a case brought to me that will curl the hair of Shirley Temple. I AGREE
B
I have realized, reading all the posts, that my original reply to this article on Post #22, was poorly written and expressed.
I do not blame or judge our heroine, Christine Sheddy. I simply meant to say I did not understand the mindset of such a lovely, innocent, unspoiled, down-to-earth young woman being so trusting in the goodness of Levi.
I despise him for violating this wonderful young mother.
Please accept my sincere apologies for making such insensitive, unenlightened comments. It was not my intention to insult or abuse the victim or her family.
I am sorry.
Fair, I read between your lines friend, I know where your coming from. Lots of times I dont have the right words, but I like to think my heart is in the right place; which I know yours is.
B
#41 and #43 Fair. It was not Your posts I was responding to just so ya know. It was that sanctimonious poser/poster I responded to.
Thanks, Blink. Have you always been such an easy grader?
To Christine’s loved ones; it is obvious that your beloved lost daughter, sister, mother and friend was a wonderful woman.
I am sorry she crossed paths with devil.
Her fate was a travesty and not her fault.
I hope I did not add to your suffering. If I did, please forgive me.
Hold on mjh….don’t be puttin’ yourself down, I thought your post was extremely informative, I felt like I completely understood what you were saying in such a way that I felt as if I was in the victim’s shoes. As usual Riddle added another fabulous piece to further help those of us who don’t know what it’s like to be vulnerable and get unknowingly “hooked” by an abuser. I appreciate your input; both of you helped me comprehend way more than I could have imagined. And mjh/Blink I also LOVED “lift each other up to ‘even’” GRRRRRREAT LINE!
FairWitness
Dont worry about it, no need to apoligize. As far as I am concerned it is forgotten. But I do have to tell everyone out there that I have made many mistakes in my life. I dont ever expect to get the mother of the year award. My life was not an easy one. I thought God let me live through my experiences to pass on what I had learned to my children so they didnt have to go through some of the things I did. But know that Christine was and is loved by her family. She was a mother, daughter,Aunt, granddaughter and friend to so many people. We need to bring her home. We wont stop until we find her. Thanks for letting me ramble.
We all Have. You humble me with your candor. What a contrast between you and Cindy Anthony. I know my readers are thinking it, so I am saying it.
B
NancyS regarding post #15 – sorry I didn’t see your post earlier, and yes, I agree that “just taking off” doesn’t even begin to solve the problem and as you said makes it even more dangerous. This is why I spoke of that horrible incident on the stairs (didn’t plan ahead) when plans for a SAFE escape with the HELP OF OTHERS IS MANDATORY. I am so sorry for Nicole & Ron, I can’t even think about them except in my prayers – she was a perfect example of what we are trying to stop. I can now recall trying to help a few friends in the past to get out of relationships that made me worry….one day a black eye under sunglasses and the next week SOOOOOOOO in love. It was like banging my head against a wall, what do you say when their answer is “But I love him!” I have recently seen brochures in women’s bathrooms saying ARE YOU BEING ABUSED?…..ETC. with a number to call–what a great idea that is, although I bet many are afraid to take one in case…..well, you know.
FairWitness – I’ll tell ya, you come across as about the most caring and sincere person on this site with a heart of gold.
I’m sorry for what your going through Lynn. My instincts are telling me Jackson and Johnson know a lot more than they are telling. If it’s true Christine had left before and Levi called around to try and find her, then why didn’t he this time? Unless he knew where she was at…And if he doesn’t then why is his mom talking trash? I know how you felt every time you seen your child with a black eye. I expect to get a call about my daughter anytime.
I’m even more worried about my son’s 5 year old child. I have documented abuse to my Grandson since his Mother moved in with her boyfriend. They live in Panama City Beach, Fl but Dale County Alabama has the jurisdiction. The court just gave us the 5th continuence since May of this year! She has moved 9 times since December 08 and one of those was an eviction. So much for the Alabama Child Parent Relationship Protection Act. She has FAILED several drug test given to her at court and was even ordered to take monthly test which she decided she didn’t want to do. What good are laws when Judges don’t enforce them….
Even stranger the state of Florida issued a pick up order to remove her older son from her custody WHILE WE WERE AT OUR “emergency” HEARING IN MAY, here in Alabama! Child Services from Florida called my son trying to get information on where she could be and he told them we were about to walk into court and he put his attorney on the phone and she had them fax the pickup order to Judge right then! The judge continued our case after listening to her and her dad lie for 3 hours, we didn’t even get to testify and he still let her walk out with Michael.
ATTENTION: Christine has a Facebook! Photos, Twitter updates, check it out!
http://www.facebook.com/privacy/?view=search#/people/Christine-Sheddy/100000145943226
(hope the link works!) LOL