Saying Goodbye For Now: Lung Cancer Ends Mom’s Valiant Fight At 63
As many of you know, my Mother has spent the last seven years battling lung cancer and subsequent secondary metastasis throughout her body. She quit smoking in 1986.
With an initial classification of stage 3B and a bleak prognosis , she endured herculean efforts to wage war against the silent enemy that only showed itself on PET scans.
The Red Baroness And Her Life's Co-Pilot
She was an avid true crime reader and case follower. In her last email to me, she reviewed my work in the case against Jerry Sandusky while lying in Oncology Intensive Care via her Blackberry that she smuggled in under her gown.
After three weeks of heinousness, she died peacefully Tuesday at the age of 63.
When she passed, she had 5 books on her nightstand and her Kindle; one of which I was sent by it’s authors for future review.
She told me she was willing to read it, but she was not going to do my job for me, LOL.
“I am overqualified and I am working on dying over here. I am not going do your work for you, plus I do not know how objective I can be”
Our Mom’s tenacity for knowledge was secondary to her sense of humor.
Last week when we brought her home I reminded her that the same things about her personality that kept her alive for seven years against all odds were going to work against her desire to take her last nap.
She responded, ” I know honey, I am dragging my parachute.” As the Olympics began, I told her she got the gold medal for outliving all the other patients in the oncology practice and with only one lung category.
She said, “Speaking of gold do you realize it is projected to rise to $1620 an ounce according to my ticker app. I answered, ” If you do not put that thing away and get some rest I am going to smother you with a pillow and speed this thing up.”
“Then use the new one you bought me. Your Father’s are flat and mushy and I cannot get him to part with them, OR ME, ba dump bump” , she said complete with hand gestures mimicking a drum set.
“No worries, I have Daddy signed up on 6 online dating sites including christian mingle something.”
She laughed so hard she had to push her bolus and shot back, “Now I know that is a lie, you are 43 years old and you put your thumb over the face of his prom dates in his old scrap books when you look at them.”
“AND.. I threw a gum wrapper in her front lawn when Dad showed me her house when we went to visit Grammy’s grave ions ago.”
“Charming. Maybe you might consider putting that on your growth area list.”
There was nothing secondary about her love of our Father, her girls or our entire family.
In the nearly 44 years they were married, I never once saw them argue. As kids, that was particularly daunting- we got away with nothing. The parental divide and conquer plan was non-existent in our home.
In my teens I used to be annoyed by her ability to walk into the middle of some early crime show and know exactly who did it and why.
A N N O Y I N G in the learning process.
E N D E A R I N G in the saying goodbye process.
Little did I know then- I would also be inspired by it. I know everyone says they have the greatest Mum in the world, but she truly was the best woman I have ever known.
Ma Mere did not go gently into the good night. She told the good night she would come when she was ready, and that she did. I will not be keeping this post up for long, this site and my work are dedicated to true crime.
While losing one’s Mother at 63 is very much a crime of sorts to me, we had the ability to spend our borrowed time together creating memories that will sustain us during the most profound loss I have ever experienced- many victims families of cases we cover do not. Frankly, as far as learning curves go, I have a new perspective on grief so I appreciate you indulging me with this announcement for a bit.
Private message to Mom: The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog 
I will be back in full swing next week, moderating until then.
My sincere thanks to all for your continued support at www.blinkoncrime.com, www.scaredmonkeys.com and www.scaredmonkeys.net.
I would also like to thank Hematology-Oncology Associates Dr. Friedman and Dr. Shaw. You were her care consultants operating with her directives, and your advice and compassion allowed us to bring her home.
I get that it is weird with 27 years in the business you come across the raging bull dressed like my 5′ 3″ tall Mother.
The energy you gave us at your surprise and delight to have her be a first in your practice is cherished and Thank You.
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Good day Blink,
I just checked in and read your lovely tribute to your Mom. Your words of tribute to her we’re beautiful.
Several thoughts have come to me…
Your son sounds quite a gentleman already. Teen boys are hard to raise, even in the best of times. But it sounds like he is truly a “young man” already. Your example is obvious in the maturity he shows.
I just got home yesterday from visiting my Mom on her 87th birthday in an assisted living facility. She actually is doing well there, but I had many thoughts yesterday about how to make her life even more comfortable. I cannot imagine going through a terminal illness like cancer with Mom. Blessings to you and your family.
I did lose my grandmother many, many years ago. I was heartbroken. As she was dying, she told me, “Don’t be sad. I lived my life.”. It was the greatest gift of all she ever gave me and she gave me a lot. That is how I remember her– she gave me permission to “not be sad.”
Don’t you wish that everyone could have known your wonderful Mother? I see it in your writings. But she does live on in you and thanks for sharing her with us.
Count those Blessings,
Cadilac
Thank you Cadilac, I definitely do, and I think ultimately that is why I wrote the piece for her.
In some small way, maybe it can help heal a Mom/daughter somewhere in need of it before it is too late, or perhaps help a Mom who maybe did not have that sort of relationship with her own Mother to aspire to do better with her own children.
I will never forget the time my Mother told me that her job was to do the very best she could as a Mother, and then to learn from me. Thank You
B
Oh Lizzy
Your exchange with Blink had me laughing. The radio girls! But this is good for Blink needs to get back to being as normal as possible.
I was also pleased to see Blink’s reply talking about making her dad a lunch with Blinkette working in mom mom’s kitchen to help.
Wraping both B’s in an envelope of love.
Dear Blink,
I read your blog often, but I’ve never commented.
My sympathy and prayers are with you today. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Joan O’Brien
Thank you Miss Joan
B
Sorry, Blink, to hear about your mum.
Thank-you for sharing your mom’s, wise words:
“if you respond you are going to your room”, so wise, it is always the second rock that starts the fight, IMO.
Love leaves a memory no one can steal
She was a smartie like that. When my sisters and I would argue she would make us stay in the room together until we could come out and apologize to each other and make up. We were idiots. We could have simply faked, pretended to kiss and makeup and been out of there in 5 minutes.
We never did and I am guessing she knew we would not, lol.
B
Many “heart hugs” to you, Blink.
Three things will last forever, FAITH, HOPE and LOVE…and the greatest of these is LOVE. Corinthians 13:33
She will always be with you.
Thank You Inv.
B
Blink, my deepest sympathy to you and yours. Your mom sounds like an amazing person, with a zest for life, and a love for her family that is rare and precious. You will remain in my prayers over the coming days.
Thank you MB, she was the epitome of family and it was unwavering. While those of us are left behind grief-soaked, I also know that those lessons she imparted will have us find our way.
B
I will never forget the time my Mother told me that her job was to do the very best she could as a Mother, and then to learn from me. Thank You
B
~~~
The greatest gift a mother can impart to her daughter(s) … much love sent to you and your sisters
It is, right? Thank you kindly puzzled.
B
Blink-
I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. My prayers are with you and your family.
Thank you Concerned
B
Bethechangeyouwannasee says:
August 6, 2012 at 11:29 am
btw–my kids keep asking me why my eyes are wet or red or crying..after making excuses all weekend and when they would catch me i finally came clean–i told them i was filled with emotions/ being reflective in thoughts/ and sad for someone
****
Blink, I will share as well…My daughter was looking at me this weekend and she said what is wrong with your left eye?…I had a black eyelid on one side as if I had been hit. WTHey…I told my husband I got it on the internet…he is like a virus?? The truth was your wonderful tribute to your beloved mother and the others who have offered their thoughts, stories, support, advice, warmth, my thoughts of my mother who died at 61 of lung cancer, my father who died of lingering injuries at 60 as a result of a weather related airplane crash he had, (funny the last time I saw him before he was hospitalized and died was at a Father’s Day pancake breakfast at his beloved airport, where my Husband flew in one of those bi-planes that day). So you see that you have the ability to touch many in a very good way.
Thank you so much.
PS…I won $20 bucks from my husband also.
Ode, and “be the”, thank you as always for your tender words and memories.
Isn’t it painfully lovely to love and be loved even in the face of the most profound loss?
As my Mother would say.. It is WUNNERFUL.. Her word- she had many
B
Blink~
My thoughts are with you and your family at this most difficult time.
TY Kindly Xara
B
Dearest Blink my heart is with you. I am so sorry you lost your dear old mum so early.You are a chip off the block for sure. Thank you for sharing this with us. I am away for the summer and am sitting my mums house in New Zealand which I bought when she went to the rest home. I feel her here in many ways. You only ever get one mum.
I remember when I had to leave my mum to go back to my young daughter in the States and she said the best way to show her my love was to be a good mum to my daughter.You are a good mum.
Your work helps families find the strength to carry on.
Love you Blink.
O Hummingbird, you hit my bullseye. Me Mum said exactly the same thing. There is simply nothing like watching your Mum with your children knowing she can leave with a full heart. She did.
Love you to H2
B
Dear Blink: I, too, have followed your blog since a little before the Caylee Marie Anthony case. Your devotion to your work and your family has been a true inspiration to me. Although I have chose to read and learn from your wisdom rather than comment, please know I have enjoyed your work ever so much. I am deeply sorry for your loss and am sending healing prayers your family’s way. Take care and be gentle with yourself. A mom couldn’t ask for a more caring, loving daughter than you for sure. Keeping the faith in N.C., I am respectfully yours,
Karol
Karol thank you so for your support and kind words.
B
Blink,
It has been a long time since I popped in to say hi. I’m sorry to read about your mom. Prayers for you and your family.
Thank you kindly Midwest Mom
B
At your request I made this private, but I want you to know it was beautiful, and most especially the Dr. Seuss quote. My had a full set in the grandsons room and she read them to us as a child.
Heart u and hugs
B
Thank you kindly wc, and you realize she is doing all that now, right?
B
Oh Blink,
My heart goes out to you. I am reminded that death is not the end but just a transition. Your mom is with G-d right now, and she watches over you and the Blinkettes until each and every one of you someday come home to live in heaven.
My dad died in 1999, and I remember how sad I was that I would never get another hug from him, that I could not call him on the phone to talk about gardening, nor any of the other things we used to do. He was not a perfect dad, but he had a great laugh, and he had this way of explaining things by drawing these flow charts that always ended up with the only way to get what you want was to do it dad’s way. I remember how his hair smelled from all the times he carried me piggy back as a little girl, and I remember how blue his eyes were. I miss him so much, as I am sure you miss your mama.
I do not know what you are going through at this moment, but I have some idea. I am so sorry for your loss.
Love,
Lea and Izzy dog
Thank you friend, and pat on Izzy’s head.
Love to you both
B
Dear Blink
i am so very sad that you have lost your Mom. My prayers and thoughts are with you. May your Mom rest in peace
dear Blink.
Löni<3
Thank you Loni
B
Hi Sister B.,
*Hugs* I’m afraid I’ve been out of pocket and just learned of your loss. I am so sorry to hear of this, but very grateful to God that what you describe is a wonderful mother with whom you apparently had a wonderful relationship. The memories will last your entire life and you will be able to pass those on to your little Blinkettes. I pray for God’s mercy and peace which are infinite and can sustain you through your time of grief. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you need to talk, gripe, cry, or just need anything at all. Lots and lots of love. I miss visiting via email. *HUGS Sister*…Valhall.
O hugs back Sister and thank you. I know this all so fresh for you as well.
Heart u
B
Blink, I am so sorry to read of your loss. Hugs, prayers and love my friend.
TY Kindly Judi
B
((((Huge hugs Blink))))
Thank you TH
B
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
She can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”—Proverbs 31
With love from me and Mr. Deej
Heart u as always, both you and Mr. Deej. Tell him I said she is the original oracle, lol.
B
Number of days I have been reading your blog = 1058
Number of times I have commented on posts = 0
You often have me at the scene of the crime with your descriptive writings, feeling, fearing, and nightmaring like I have truly been there.
Today you had me literally at your mothers bedside, and grieving her loss as I read your words. You are her walking talking breathing gift to us all, the legacy lives on. Thank you for sharing this deeply personal relationship with us, to me it made perfect sense. As usual.
Steph
So touched on a day I needed it most, thank you Steph.
B
Dearest B I remember when my dear old mum was dying how much strength and encouragement I got from you and my friends on BOC. Truly a cyber miracle. There is something to be said for anonymity and community,where ordinary people can come together to try to heal and problem solve, to vent ,cry, laugh. God knows I have done all of that here and more.
Through it all I have grown and feel humbled by the compassion wisdom knowledge and support I have found here amongst you all. At times I felt a little guilty that perhaps I was lionizing the conversation or overburdening my online community with my personal challenges and transitions. Hell at one stage I bared my soul and shared my life story no holds barred. I damn near had a heart attack waiting to see my post and terrified I would be shunned or belittled, shamed and worse still booted from BOC.
Miraculously I was embraced, supported, encouraged, praised even wow who knew.
Anyway kudos to Blink who is the guiding light of this group.
I am so grateful that you are walking with us through this difficult phase of losing your mum dear Blink, much like Dan and Gil Harrington have allowed us to accompany them through the unimaginable loss of their precious daughter Morgan. Selfishly this allows me to feel, to express emotion,grief, laughter , fear , pain, and hopefully experience a softening of the heart and a oneness with my fellow human beings.
Peace to all my friends old and new at BOC especially you Blink.
Dear Blink — I am so sorry you have lost your mom. I am certain she is providing God with tremendous laughter, given her wit and charm. I almost lost my mother two weeks ago but thankfully, she is still here and is home from the hospital now. I am praying for you and your family.
I find comfort in my dad’s favorite poem which I will share with you —
Crossing the Bar
by Lord Alfred Tennyson
Sunset and evening star, And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar, When I put out to sea,
But such a tide as moving seems asleep, Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep Turns again home.
Twilight and evening bell, And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness or farewell, When I embark;
For tho’ from out our bourne of Time and Place The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face When I have crossed the bar.
I love-love that Pooky, thank you.
B
DeeJaye That is one of the most wonderful and one of my personal favorite verses. i9 think i said this before but i have to say it again-Every line is like hearing Blink speak so precious of her mother…you know the Lord knows us before we ever realize to knowing him, before we even realize our own existance…he knew all along–so i know this verse was made for Blink’s momma– just has to be. who else could he be speaking of?
Proverbs 31; 10-31
It is one of the most fitting for Blink as her mother is truly a virtuous women! This is a direct reflection of what you give back to the world- SO much Love and devotion…you are truly a blessing to have in mine…I cherish every day i am blessed to visit..”Virtuous” I thought of my grandmother the same way– they just dont make’em like they use to, do they? …but we have their wonderful memories to help us giv’em a good run for the money.. I will always quote my grandma even if it isnt cool or in style…I love the old ways and the old beliefs..My grandmother use to tell me, “pretty is as pretty does”….as a young girl i never knew what it meant, but i reflected on it growing up….BLINK, your mother was a beautiful person….not just on the outside but on the inside…SHe had that inner beauty that surpassed anyone on this planet, she was invalueable, her love and all of her existance, priceless…but for earthly comparison levels would be more precious than diamonds or rubies….her moral turpitude and personal worth…self respect and all the good things the older generations stood for ethically. I dont believe there is anything wrong with having a higher standard of living capacity– having “Self Respect”, “Self Preservation” with a certain level of “Reservation/Discreation” and “Resilience” as long as it’s love and kindness from the heart for others…giving back some of what you take and being great leadership by setting a great example. I also believe your momma belongs to all of those “Good Clubs”! She equaled/surpassed “the Good”! We are blessed because of Blink and her unwaivering care for others and sharing her most precious of resources “her beautiful mother” and not just worldly resources but ” her life”…Thank you again. My thoughts and prayers are with you. ;o)
In needing to go slop the hogs (as you say) now with special permission to just stay gone awhile….I dug deeper than usual and the grandma memories pull the heart strings this time around….The Lord is my shepherd….
Hugs Blink, may your mom rest peaceful in those green pastures…her life and all of her works, she deserves that. loving thoughts..have a blessed day.
eye rain alert..and not wanting to make light of this situation,
i was saving this but i have to share-
“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.”
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
–Blink You are truly by far a truly out of this world person. I could see your Mother saying this– When you talk about her humor, this quote of Pooh reminds me of your mom..I can hear her telling you, she made you stronger than herself, if there was ever anyone else that strong..she is showing you your strengths..not hers….she gave you so much of herself because she loved you that much…I know it is even harder to know that. That is a true Mother’s love. It is so obvious to see it through your words. (torrential downpour-i hate waterproof mascara)
“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” ― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
–Blink this is why it is so hard, because she was that much to you! But what is even greater is that what she gave you, you in turn gave us. Without a blink of an eye (no pun intended) or a flinch, you have shown us all the love your mother taught you…how to give it back, how to apply it where it counts, through your advocacy… I have never seen anything like this- You are by far the most kind, compassionate and unselfish person i have ever known,and your mother so much more… i wish i really knew you—-I do believe. AHHH-The circle of life!
Now for shizz, me -slop hogs, pronto—
Sincerely and respectfully,
~A~
Thank you kindly “be” but I want to be clear, I am no different than any daughter that ever lost her beloved Mum. In fact, and I shudder at my level of honesty at the moment because all I want to do is to be intensely private, but I take the responsibility of my public voice seriously and I made the decision to discuss this here. My Mother was as real as it gets, no fluff. As I said in the piece her last email was about a case, but we ended up having a much larger conversation about my recent grad work and it’s subject matter. The gist was, anytime anyone glosses over an issue, it is an invitation for someone to continue to ignore it, and in this case, it happened for decades.
For just today I hope, I am absolutely nothing like her. I am weak, exhausted, and feeling completely sorry for myself like a complete coward. I want to tell anyone and everyone who has a live Mother that I despise them for just that reason ( I dont really, you get it).
My sister and I were speaking earlier and she asked me how I was and I told her I would like to dig a hole in the backyard and lay in it and hide from everyone. She said I will lay there with you.
A brief interruption to my pain rant: My sis’s and I would and could lay in a dirt hole for our Mother and at the end of the day, putting all the sibling issues aside, I can tell you as a point in fact, nothing would make my Mother prouder.
I just want my Mother back, and I don’t give a rats ass about anything else until I can get my chit together and remember who I am, how I was raised, and get on with it.
I am not lost on the fact that this piece and it’s comments are in dedication, but again, as I said, Pam was no fluff. I already want to delete this.
B
OMG … I accidentally clicked to this instead of the Morgan Harrington page and found this. I’m so sorry for your loss.
You’ve graciously shared your young un’s with us and more now of your Mother, too. That you have, your Mother still lives … In all of us. anytime those that love you think of you, we will be moved to think of your Mother too.
A daughter could have no greater tribute than to share her Mother with so many. Thank you.
You are a little piece of all those who have nurtured you … but, most came from your Mother ….. Proof that she was a remarkable woman. Again, I’m sorry for your loss. Love, Rose 7?
Thank you Rose 7
B
Blink you may have to get busy and write another piece for us to leave you alone. We dig and look at some pretty ugly things with you yet our hearts are not ugly like those things. You allowed me I know and I am sure others to reflect on good things in people. To connect virtually with others for a moment to think about ourselves, grieve a little for you and ourselves. It is good for the soul to do this. You made something good out something so devasting for you. It’s a gift kiddo…
I absolutely will when I am able, and I agree.
I am growing back my branch, I can’t fit y’all safely on this twig I am flailing around.
B
Blink,
I’m so sorry. I’ve been through my own personal hell’s that wouldn’t seem to stop since Friday the 13th. I finally had my own little meltdown a couple of days ago. I’ve never been a mama’s girl but that was who I called. I can’t possibly imagine what it would have been like to have not been able to make that call. I’m sorry for your loss and feel worse for your profound sadness and sorrow. Words don’t help much but listen for her from your heart. Yours is made of gold and you will get through this to a new normal. God be with you and I will keep you in my prayers. One friend told me recently that she would keep me in hers and that she wasn’t just saying that in the “passing and don’t know what else to say manner” but that she would pray faithfully for me and my family. I will do the same for you.
Thank you kindly.
B
Dear Pam, Mom & Mom Mom
I am sending you these written thoughts mentally via an angel. Thank you for giving all of us who post here such a beautiful daughter who gives of herself to others through the love that you taught her.
We want you to know that through love we will comfort her in your stead. We will lend her our strength and caring while she works her way through the loss of your loving presence.
Thank you also for the private post, heart u as you know. Bootstraps in hand.
B
I wish I had some wise words that might bring you a bit of comfort. All I have is this…(((hug))).
I will take it with gratitude.
B
Dear Blink,
It has been hard for me to read through all these comments as I lost my own sweet mom just two months ago. A couple of weeks after my she passed, I thought I would never be able to overcome my grief. A good friend who had lost her mom too told me that I would know I was recovering when thinking of her made me feel happy and good inside instead of sad and lonely. Slowly that process is starting to happen and for that I know she is smiling. Healing thoughts are with you during this very difficult time… what a great daughter you were to her!
I am sorry January- yet here you are supporting me and others. Inspiring.
B
Hang in there! Don’t let your Mom down. She is watching over you but most of all if you pray real hard you’ll feel God reach out and touch you on the shoulder.God will carry you through this more than anybody or anything else! STEP.
Thank you STEP. He and I are in constant contact.
B
OH Blink, thats what i love most about you…YOU are so Human..So real and raw…in any other circumstances i would be driving to your house everyday and bringing you bounds of food, so you didnt have to bother.. checking on the little people (kiddos) of the family and making sure they are okay…and making sure you were as expected to be, having a moment of prayer and then on my way…everyday i would do this until you did get back on track..I worry boutcha….BUT I am only a cyber friend…..”Privacy” respectfully i say, i wish so much we could give that one thing to you…you’re so lovingly deserving of that…Blessings to you for not taking it….I am most humbled and so thankful you share your life and its journey…it proves without a doubt how you are so dedicated and so thoughtful, kind and commited…THANK YOU….without your raw real and open honesty and without your sharing, what would be? You are truly a gracious soul without a doubt.. That is what makes you best at what you do–the victims and their families need that voice of yours.. you dont just reason with the fact it is just a job or just a situation or something you do really well. You are very passionate about what you do..its obvious. The world is an ugly ugly place, ugly people made it that way..You have clearly difined the line between good verse evil….You stand for the good in people and everyday I come here is proof of that love devotion and commitment…Your motherly love radiating…..Your mother made you in the image you need to be by teaching you the things we all should have learned from our parents..i wasn’t as fortunate to have parents as yours, I had a beautiful loving grandmother that made up for it though…and i am fortunate to have stumbled across you and the blessings you so graciously share….I can tell you right now.. i am a better person because of meeting you…and i assure you; you’re right where you need to be. Helping us understand and opening the worlds eyes to what is out there..helping these victims say their last worldly message….carrying that legacy. Letting them have that last word and not letting them fall to being victimized again and becoming just a statistic. Blink, i am so so sorry, I cant imagine the pain it is to lose something that means so much…. I have to tell you this-it is saddening to know someone that means so much to so many is hurting…. you must know you mean the world to all of us. You may say you’re not to be different in the sense of a daughter losing a mother like others have, but you are different in the sense you have shared this most private moment in your life, and it means alot to us because it shows just how much she meant to you and how very special she was…kind of catipults it to a different demension. Hugs dearest Blink and family…i cant even fathom what you must be going through..but if you need anything…u just call upon me… if you need me to help you dig that hole, i would be happy to ablige, and you stay there as long as you need to ….i cant take the pain away, but i can assure you…you can depend on me if you need anything. Take your time, aint going anywhere…I am right here. Prayers.
BLINK SAID–
(My Mother was as real as it gets, no fluff. As I said in the piece her last email was about a case, but we ended up having a much larger conversation about my recent grad work and it’s subject matter. The gist was, anytime anyone glosses over an issue, it is an invitation for someone to continue to ignore it, and in this case, it happened for decades.)
Blink i would love to know what case you are refering to….i really would love to know your evolution and how you became what you are known to be now..”Blink”…..is this a case you would be doing soon or is this just a past tense referal? Yes i agree as in so many of these cases…People “gloss over” the real issues at hand until it becomes the normal way of life for that individual, and in some cases it becomes the new standard or form of life for generations to come. this is the sad truth and reality- evolution in some families. in these families among evil and where it lurks–habit becomes standards in some instances when pratices regularly…they grow up not knowing any better. i think some of these families like it that way…(but why wouldnt these mothers want what is best or better for the kids) we have a case in Texas right now out of Liberty…How does someone keep a child in an animal cage and starve animals to death…How does one live with themselves… better yet how do you leave something like that in the front yard (dead horses) and not know someone will not see that…..HOW? Leads me to beleive these people do not care, slapping the face of laws and justice..They had children before and got taken away and 3 years later have more kids..???. The audacity of people, the lack of care and compassion for living breathing beings and the consequences of their actions…simple human nature has went out the door in these instances…;o/
And (i got it)…….i know you could never dispise a person for having…..if you could even, you wouldnt. Your mother is very proud of you…it shows in everything you have did,in all you do and continue to do for years to come! The responsibility you take as being Public is very professional, however you are so personal-able in doing so and it shows greatly… Your branch will grow in its own time…a strong steady perch when you need to go for reflection! ;o)
Well, you may get your wish, more on that later. The case on point was Sandusky, but it involved some of my private work and her thoughts. Thanks again all for the support.
B
Blink, haven’t checked in with you in so long and then find this. So many lovely posts. Your tribute is what I would love to know my boys would say of me. Prayers for you today, nite and tomorrow. Carol 1
Thank you kindly Carol 1
B
God bless you Blink! I wish I could have met your mother, but in a sense I guess I am through reading your work. I lost my son over a year ago. Praying for you during this difficult time. ☺
Thank you kindly Coleton, and I shall pray for you and your son.
B
Well, aside from I heart u, that is the best chuckle I have had in days. Mom would have kibbitzed with you for hours about that useless field of study.. she devoured the topic.
In fact, I had forgotten this for a while until your note. So now I will see your chuckle and raise you one.
Immediately after 9-11, having what she termed as me having narrowly missed it and it claimed the life of the husband of one of her colleagues, in an effort to what she called “trying to understand what sort of religious teaching could ever include murdering innocent people” she ordered a Koran from amazon.
About a week or two later, two FBI agents show up at the house when she was out of town, and asked my Dad a few questions about my Mom’s reading practices, our family, etc, they left a card and asked for my Mom to call them upon her return. She did, left a vm and about a week later they came back without returning her call or requesting an appointment and for some reason (I think my Dad had just had surgery) she was on the riding mower. My Dad invited them in, and to sit and wait for her on their Cape May back porch.
They took one look at her wearing my Poppa’s WWII pith helmet on that tractor, thanked my Dad for the iced T and left.
She was miffed- lol, she said, “I had a bunch of questions for them after reading that book and reading up on some other things on terrorism- we need some big changes if we are going to protect the good people of this country.”
I don’t think she ever even told me this story until like 2 years ago when I did my personal account piece- she said she forgot all about it.
What a pip.
B
After losing my grandfather this past April from prostate cancer I felt your words from your mom’s tribute ring true in my heart. Your mother’s courage strength and humor is such a blessing to hear..May God hold you and your family in his hands during this time. My prayers are with you..
(Rowanvamp0)From ScaredMonkeys
I am building her memory boards for our community celebration tomorrow and if I can muster my moxy I may post a few images of them. Thank you Rowan.
B
Good morning Blink, Here is a cup of tea, homemade biscuits/butter and fresh honey (hope u like fresh honey)…Just checking in on you…Dear Lord, please watch over Blink and her family…….Loving thoughts and praise in Jesus Name, AMEN.
The story about the Koran and the WWII pith helmet sounds so typical of what your mom would do.
I have to agree with her assesment of the Islamic religion. There is no place on this planet for a group that esposes hate. This planet is about love. When we reach the level where all can love and support one another, then we will have fulfilled one of humanities requirements. And we do that by learning to love and help each person as we pass them in our lives.
Blink,
You and I have had our share of disagreements, and although I still read here often I have not made any comments for a very long time.
I felt compelled to write because I hear in your words the profound love and admiration you have felt for your mom your whole life.I fell as lucky as you to have had a mother that simply amazed me with her strength, intuition , guidance and most of love. We are indeed the lucky ones to have been given the gift of “special being” that transcended a mother/ daughter relationship.
My mom passed away 5 years ago after a very long battle with a pre- Leukemia disease. So many blood and platelet infusions, but through it all she kept the fight going. I just wanted her to continue living and did not care how we accomplished that–I know that is the selfish part of love.
To this day I always felt I did not grieve as completely as I should have because every day leading up to her death I lost a little more of her. I suppose by the time she finally died I assumed I had already 5 years of grieving. I now know I was wrong, I just did not want to face what her loss truly meant to me. So afraid if I began to cry and give in to my profound grief I would never recover, simple loose my life to profound sadness every day thereafter. I tell you this only to tell you the profound loss of this magical women, must be felt completely. Take all the time you need but make that time valuable and remember every wonderful moment you ever shared, and cry your heart out if the grief is that deep.
I have tried so hard to keep my feelings in check, afraid if I showed just a small crack of sadness the dam would break and there would be no way to accept my desperate attempt to face my fear of living without her.
However, I have now decided to share those feelings in a book. A tribute to my special being, and I must say it has been very cathartic. You have a special ability with words write about her daily, write a book about her, keep a journal of your feelings….whatever you do ALLOW yourself the total and complete desperation you may feel at the thought of your life without her.
You will heal in time, but never completely. A mother is debilitating love to lose.
My sincere sympathy to you, Blink, and your family. May time and memories help you heal.
Sincerely,
Clare
Thank you kindly Clare.
B
Blink,
You and I have had our share of disagreements, and although I still read here often I have not made any comments for a very long time.
I felt compelled to write because I hear in your words the profound love and admiration you have felt for your mom your whole life.I feel as lucky as you to have had a mother that simply amazed me with her strength, intuition , guidance and most of all love. We are indeed the lucky ones to have been given the gift of a “special being” that transcended a mother/ daughter relationship.
My mom passed away 5 years ago after a very long battle with a pre- Leukemia disease. So many blood and platelet infusions, but through it all she kept the fight going. I just wanted her to continue living and did not care how we accomplished that–I know that is the selfish part of love.
To this day I always felt I did not grieve as completely as I should have because every day leading up to her death I lost a little more of her. I suppose by the time she finally died I assumed I had already 5 years of grieving. I now know I was wrong, I just did not want to face what her loss truly meant to me. So afraid if I began to cry and give in to my profound grief I would never recover, simple loose my life to profound sadness every day thereafter. I tell you this only to tell you the profound loss of this magical women, must be felt completely. Take all the time you need but make that time valuable and remember every wonderful moment you ever shared, and cry your heart out if the grief is that deep.
I have tried so hard to keep my feelings in check, afraid if I showed just a small crack of sadness the dam would break and there would be no way to accept my desperate attempt to face my fear of living without her.
However, I have now decided to share those feelings in a book. A tribute to my special being, and I must say it has been very cathartic. You have a special ability with words write about her daily, write a book about her, keep a journal of your feelings….whatever you do ALLOW yourself the total and complete desperation you may feel at the thought of your life without her.
You will heal in time, but never completely. A mother is debilitating love to lose.
My sincere sympathy to you, Blink, and your family. May time and memories help you heal.
Sincerely,
Clare
Ms.Clare- What wonderful and kind sentiment, I thank you.
You absolutely get it, and please allow me to share some of the best additional advice I have received to date- be as selfish in your grief equal to the amount you love and miss her.
I started writing about this intermittently, this is a brief excerpt:
Figuring out how this new and most unwelcome passenger I currently view as the parasite on my soul can become my bearable travel companion will be one hell of a feat, I dare say. Both grief and glory start with a g. So does gurgle.
Again, I will look to my life trainer for this.
B
Dear Blink, I have only posted once and your answer was just the one I wanted to hear. Just reading all the posts and answers in my opinion is the greatest tribute to your Mother I can think of. God Bless and keep up your amazing work.
Thank you kindly pjr
B
B said: August 9, 2012 at 8:19 pm- see above
~~
What an absolute riot!! How in the world did that slip her mind- lol. I can completely understand her desire to read that and find out what in the world was so attractive or enticing to all the nut balls out there. That must have been an uncommon act at that time.
My husband swears I will get a visit one day for all my internet interest in murders- but this is just great. I bet she was agitated she didn’t get her chance to discuss her analysis of the book with who other than the FBI. Great story to tell many generations to come.
Lol, she was just that unaffected until there was a discussion that could contribute to solution.
Agitated she was.
B
“They took one look at her wearing my Poppa’s WWII pith helmet on that tractor, thanked my Dad for the iced T and left.”
snicker. see, those memories will see you through. heart u back.
So sorry for your loss Blink…what a wonderful mother so glad you shared with us. God Bless you and yours.
Thank you TandT
B
Well said TG well said.
Blink I hope you post some of your mums
memory board. Ya know what goes around comes around.
You have always been here for us…. For victims and families of victims,now it is time to let us be here for you
even just for a little while. You know what you are dishing out, gotta let it come back to you.
How can you love people you have never met or seen face to face?
I don’t know but I do. Our shiny girl Morgan Dana Harrington drew me to BOC
and here I am , here we are.
Thinking of you every day peace to you and your darling mum.
Oh, Blink.. you are truly your mother’s child!! Thank you for sharing.
I couldnt help but comment, your piece brought tears to my eyes.
Thank you susan.
B