Kyron Hormon Missing and Endangered: Blink Interview And Open Plea to Terri Horman
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Portland, OR-appearing on Scared Monkeys Radio with host Dana Pretzer, we discussed the case of missing 7 year old Kyron Horman.
Open Letter of Support and Plea to Terri Horman
Ms. Horman-
We have not met, but I almost feel I know you from the abundance of kind and loving photos of your family I have seen in our efforts to help locate your step-son Kyron. I am personally not a fan of the word “step” in relation to blended families, especially given how long this wonderful child has been cared for by you in a maternal role.
I know you have been active in reviewing the coverage of Kyron’s case, and I can’t help but feel that it must be horrible and terrifying to not be able to defend yourself against some of the things being said. I am hopeful you feel that you have been treated fairly in our work here.
If I may call you Terri– In several hundred articles covering as many cases, I have never reached out personally and publicly to anyone before.
It is because I believe in my instincts as a Mother to two children that I do not believe that you would intentionally harm any child, let alone one you consider to be one of your own.
I do not believe you could look into those gigantic blue peepers of your beautiful and precious Kitty and tell her that her beloved big brother is gone, and watch her pull up her potty to the window to stand on; waiting for Kyron to come home.
It does not matter what I believe, but it very much matters to Kiara.
Whatever happended or did not happen, your baby girl needs this to end, and begin to heal. You studied many years in early childhood education, I know you already know this.
The fear she feels from the fact that someone took her brother with no resolution, and being seperated from you and her home at her age is something that you can make better for her, even from afar right now.
Just because you are not under the same roof at the moment does not make it impossible for you to Mother her. I implore you to do what you have always done for her– put her first.
Yesterday, I posted a picture of Kyron which I believe you took, I wanted to share with you a readers reaction, and my response below.
Blink Poster NoseyRosey:
The picture above makes my heart hurt ;( God bless little Kyron and may he be home soon.
Nosey– I chose it because for me, it reminds me of my little guy. I do not allow him to read here unsupervised so I will sneak this in to all the Mom’s out there. Since he was born, his sister gave him her lamb when we brought him home from the hospital and she demanded he go in HER babies crib in HER room, as he was HER new baby.
We did (it was a “play” wooden English pran, a gift from her Nana) for a few minutes, snapped the required photos and videos; as we did, she went over to her shelf and picked up LLLAAAARRRRYYY ( say with a sheep accent).
As she plunked it down on his little swaddled man-self she said:
“This is your aye aye, cause lambs are for boys. Mommy, You can take him out now, I guess boys don’t even talk or open their eyes or anything funny..”
That lamb traveled everywhere with my weeman, slept with him every single night, sat by his side on every time out and was the cause of many a -turnaround and go back- trips. Every member of our extended family would yell “Do you have Larry??” as we were headed out the door..
These days, it is worn, missing it’s ribbon, needs a darning, and mostly sits on the pillows of his bed. I know I shouldn’t but I wash it 2x a week with his sheets just so it smells like my fabric softener.
Sometimes I sneak it in bed with him under his arm and watch him squeeze it, just for me, to be admonished in the morning when we make his bed that I need to stop doing that- he is not a baby.
2 years ago, I scoured ebay to find an exact duplicate so one day (20 years plus from now- please) when he has a baby on his own, I can give him a Larry for his own child to provide the same comfort and companionship.
This is why I work on these cases that I absolutely hate. It haunts me to my core that I fear this child did not have a Larry in his darkest hour.
I guess it is my way of slipping it under Kyron’s arm while he is sleeping, like I have no doubt Terri has done for him, on many occasions.
I pray she takes the opportunity to do it now.
(editors note: you guessed it, we placed Larry in the pic of Kiara and Kyron so everyone can see how nicely they all get along.)
(editors Note 2: The comments to this article will be expressly limited to support the tone and content contained herein. There are several threads already in progress for alternative sentiment, thanks in advance.
Images created by Klaasend
Special thanks to LLLLAAAARRRRYYY for not being camera shy.
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Terri,
I hope you read all these posts and know these words are coming from real people with honest hearts and open minds. I know you probably feel like the entire world is against you and maybe some are, but here in Blink’s house, we come together for one common reason…..to find what your family has lost. I will pray for you to find courage and strength- I will pray for those around you to find patience, understanding and forgiveness. I don’t want to walk a day in your shoes Terri, but please know this, if you decided now to walk down the most difficult path in your life you will not be alone.
Echoing S.
Wow, what a gifted writer you are. And friend.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You’ve help me today.
Blink–this has been cathartic and has focused energy where it is truly needed. As helpfulcharlie said, “we understand human frailty” because we each live it every day.
Thank you, Blink.
I feel compelled to share a couple of lyrics that play in my head when I need them:
“Such righteousness in me
is not a nice thing to display,
and who am I for Christ sakes anyway
to judge a life this way –
when my own’s in disarray?”
– “Two Star” by Ben Watt
Sometimes these words come to me too late, as an admonishment after I’ve judged.
And hoping for a silver lining:
“Take this silver lining
Keep it in your own sweet head
Shine it when the night is burning red
Shine it in the twilight
Shine it on the cold, cold ground
Shine it ’til these walls come tumbling down
We were born with our eyes wide open
So alive with wild hope
Now can you tell me how
Time after time they drag you down
Down in the darkness deep
Fools with their madness all around
Know that the light won’t sleep
Know that the light won’t sleep”
– “Silver Lining”, by David Gray
bless the beast & the children
give them shelter from the storm
keep them safe
keep them warm
light their way
when the darkness
surrounds them
give them love
let it shine
all arround them
please bring Kyron home Terri
To Terri:
We are all part of a family. Day to day, we work to build and build and build this thing called our family and sometimes it all comes crashing down around us and it seems bent to destroy us. I have made so many choices, good and bad. It is a matter of luck, sometimes, whether or not those choices make or break us.
I would like the best possible outcome for your family. There will be those who WILL listen to your story. We feel the frustrations of motherhood, we know how those little things the husband does just add up to drive one nuts and how some days it is hard to get out of bed to make breakfast for little mouths who need everything cut up for what feels like the millionth day in a row.
We share some of your story. Not all of it, but some of it. I honestly don’t expect any of these messages to make a difference (sorry, Blink)…seems to be you don’t want to talk and from one redhead to another, I think you seem to be pretty stubborn.
But…maybe they will help you to find that center someone was talking about several messages ago. I know I certainly am in search of mine much of the time.
Sincerely,
TJ
Dear Terri,
I am still thinking of you and my compassion for your suffering grows with each day that passes. Like many others here, I too pledge my support to you in your time of great need. You are not alone. You have not ventured into parts of the human experience that any of us are so perfect as to judge. You have become to us, a sort of “every woman” to me. I have first observed your beautiful family and your public imperfections and then learned of your private imperfections, your possible darker thoughts and impulses. I can tell you that I do not see myself or any of us here at BOC as invulnerable to any of the acts that are attributed to you. Under the right circumstances, under the right mindset, under the right conditions, every single one of us could find ourselves in a similar storm. It’s a freakin’ mess. I don’t have to tell you that. But you can make it through this Terri, and you can shed light on every component of darkness you experienced and by doing so, you save a million Kyrons. You can save a million Kyrons. Help us. I don’t know what happened here and honestly, I don’t even speculate anymore because I know that this whole experience of yours is bigger than any of us. You have the power to change many lives, not just the ones that are immediate to you at the moment. You have the power to create ultimate good in the here and now. This is your path and it is special one–a horrendous one–but special and important. Help the world to understand what happened to your family and you will help families everywhere to prevent the same.
I am sorry for your loss, the loss of the world you knew, the world you created for yourself and your loved ones. I know you fought like hell to make a good life. And now this. But you are a survivor. This is not the end. This, dear lady, could be the beginning of your true path.
Goosebumps, that is so true. I had not thought of this being a way for Terri to save Kyron, and future Kyron’s which of course, is all we can ask as we support her in her journey.
If this were glee, I would be singing Avril Lavigne right now.
..Keep hilding on.. cause you know you’ll make it through..
Please don’t follow up with 100 aptly chosen songs, that was personal for a reason. Thanks
B
I worked as a teacher and school counselor for many years. Recently I had a foster baby (now the same age as Kiara)with me for almost a year as well as a grandson who was 3. They grew close, like brothers would. Even with all my years of experience with children, I had no clue how difficult it would be for them when time came for the baby to go home. The older child expressed fears about where the baby was, who was going away next (including his own parents and toys), where did the baby sleep and eat now, and much, much more. The baby had sleeing patterns that changed, upset tummy more frequently, became clingy as though he wasn’t sure who was going to be there so he’d better not let go, and much more we had to interpret because he couldn’t verbalize it.
It took a lot of work by a team of adults to listen, love, and comfort them, and to provide them with the confidence that they (and the other) would each be OK. Fortunately, we were able to continue getting together and having play times later. We also shared pictures of all family members by placing the pictures into kids books designed for that purpose, and we talked and listened and never assumed they had forgotten and moved on – because they couldn’t. They don’t have adult understanding or skills.
Even when the foster baby’s mother was unable to see the baby, she got approval to tape bedtime stories for me to play, made picture albums, sent cards and letters with poems, got permission for phone calls at certain times, and more.
A child’s world is VERY small compared to ours. When a “hole” occurs in that world, it is a gigantic space to deal with – and it has to be dealt with all over again when new developmental milestones come along and the child sees the world in new ways. It doesn’t get “finished” in a few weeks or months or years, even if the child is an infant at the beginning.
The more love (and loving adults) and guidance and listening time a child has, the better able the child is to develop the resiliency they need to have to move on to a successful childhood and become a happy, mature adult. I have great respect for the mother of my (former) foster baby because she recognized that and made the commitment to focus hard on her child’s needs (which included herself as a “need”), worked hard to do everything she was asked by the courts to do (which was a LOT), continues in counseling to learn to avoid repeating past mistakes, and faced the embarrassing and tough questions from friends and potential employers about why she did what she did, even when she would rather have run away.
I share this story, Terri, because I hear people telling you to help with this case for Kiara’s sake. I want you to know that those are not just words people hope will appeal to you as a mother, but words from people who understand what Kiara must be going through. She can be distracted, but she cannot forget you or Kyron. She needs your help, even if that help has to be given in ways you are not used to in order to make it work for her.
I shared with you the story of one mother I know. But there are many more every day who struggle, find help, and minimize the cost to their children as much as possible. I encourage you to become one of those courageous women. I pray, I care – and my name is Mary.
I also join among you in the spirit of prayer. Terri, we are all pulling for you. We know the love you have inside your heart. Please allow a hypnotist to assist in case there are any repressed memories of that day. I will pray for strength for you. As a mother, I pray for you to be reuninted with all of your babies as soon as possible.
Hi Terri
just want to say I am really concerned about
you today
I hope you are reading here
And feeling the compassion and caring
Terri if you are reading, I hope you find the comfort and genuine compassion these commentors have spoken. It’s of the heart. I have been touched in a Blessed way just for reading. If Terri, I request one more thing. I believe you can see to trust Blink and all of us here, we mean well and speak truths.
Will you allow Blink to inform us that you have read our thoughts, Blessings and guidance we’ve offered? It’s true as one poster stated, we have many “Kyrons” to save. More to come in the future, and as a society, we learn from each other. We learn to do better. I had PPD after birthing my first Babe. It went un-diagnosed and I suffered with it horribly til my daughters age of 7 years old when the Lord, and only He, healed the heart scars that I wore internally that the “World” couldn’t see, didn’t understand or care about. Even my own Doctor after birth in my six week check up, I mentioned I believed I was suffering from PPD, his reply, “well not every Mother goes through this so thats why I didn’t inform or bring it up to you”. I left his office bewildered, still un-medicated or helped on a professional level.
God’s saving Grace through it all, I had a wonderful Husband/Father to our Daughter who was the best a Girl could ever be Blessed with. If it wasn’t for him, I would have ran so far away and never looked back. He taught me how to be a “Good Mommy”. I would call him on third shift crying, “Come home, I cant deal with our baby anymore”. He would always uplift me, tell me how wonderful I was, and that he had Faith in me that I could be a “Good Mommy”. I tried harder and harder with each Praise he gave. With the Praise and the genuine love I had for my Daughter, I was able to overcome with the Grace of God intervening in my life, when I didn’t even know he was there every step of the way.
It would Bless my heart if Terri would befriend us as we have her. I know she won’t be disappointed, and I truly believe she’ll feel supported and loved, and helped to make things better. I have the same “Faith” in Terri and the posters here, as my Beloved Husband had in me. For Faith is truly Blind, “Things wished for but not yet seen”. I believe and have Faith, as I wait patiently.
God says, “Perfect Love casteth out all Fear”, Terri the love given herein this article and comments does just that. So Darling, you have been gifted with “Perfect Love”.
After the birth of my 3rd child, something horrible happened to me. I didn’t know what was going on, and actually was an expert at hiding it from the world. I managed to do this for 1 whole year before my breaking point.
I got up every morning and sent one child to school, fed, diapered & changed to other 2, and then locked us into my bedroom, which had a latch on the top that my 2 yr old couldn’t reach. I slept while the baby slept, my 2 yr old watched cartoons, and we stayed that way all day until my school age child and husband came home. It was then I was able to act normal, the usual family meals, the outings with the children, the coach to my 5 yr olds little league team, pto member, family photographer, etc, etc. One whole year I did this with nobody knowing any different.
And then, I reached the breaking point that I never even knew was coming. My husband came home from work one day, and there I was, in the closet corner, unconsolable. I couldn’t even begin to explain to him why I was where I was or why I couldn’t stop crying and the babies diapers weren’t changed & dinner not ready. Thank god that day changed my life.
In all those months, my only thoughts were how to get thru each day without harming myself, knowing my children deserved more. How my family made it thru a year not knowing, or nothing happening to my children I’ll never know, but the day of my breakdown, that day, my husband made the 1st appt with the doc who changed my life. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and I still have my times, but my children are now grown, happy in their own lives, and seem to have not suffered much from my neglect. It’s a hard long road that I will never forget, but right now, today, I’m actually able to enjoy my grandchildren, knowing in my heart of hearts, that I am a much better grandmother than I ever was at mothering, but my children forgave me, trust me, and still love me for who I am, because they realize that I had an illness called PPD (which btw, I have continued to have to take meds for and my baby is now 16).
If any of this resonates with you Terri, the time to talk is now. You’re younger than I was and the road could be much easier for you. It is NEVER to late to ask for help, or to do the right thing.
God bless you, and God grant you the strength that you need to do what is right!!!
(((Terri)))
Dear Terri,
You continue to be in my thoughts. I know that many folks on here are Christian. I am not. But I recognize the Jesus described in the Gospels as a wise and good man. And he never condemned a woman. No matter what woman was dragged before him on what evidence, he never condemned her. NEVER. He saw the bigger picture of her life.
Right now, I’m concerned that over a month of living in “stress mode” has not been good for your health. I hope that you are eating a healthy diet with lots of protein, fresh fruits and vegetables, salads, dairy, and that you are not consuming too much caffeine to keep you going or junk food for comfort. (I admit that’s what I do when I’m on call and have back-to-back medical situations, but I try to control myself.) If you have friends and/or family with you, ask them to get or fix you nutritious food, like fruit or vegetable salads. In this warm weather, drink lots of water. No diet sodas, because they leach the calcium out of your bones. Please do cut back on the caffeine.
It’s hard to think or act your best when you aren’t well-nourished.
Get whatever healthy exercise you can, because that reduces stressand helps you think clearly.
In this hot weather, enjoy a cool shower or bath and just empty your mind of all the thoughts swirling in your head. Get healthy sleep. Stay away from alcohol and caffeine near bedtime, because they tend to wake you up in the middle of the night.
Whatever happens, Terri, I will remain your friend. You are an intelligent woman, and you have raised children so happy that their smiles just glow. I would like you for a friend. I will not abandon you, anymore than I would abandon one of my biological sisters.
Take care of yourself, Terri.
I remain your friend,
Elizabeth
Ty.
B
Hi Terri,
I hope that you are reading here. There have been a variety of theories floated on various threads about what happened, about your mental and physical health, hobbies, etc. Personally, I’m an overwhelmed, overworked, way-out-of-shape, somewhat-internet-addicted mom of two. (Your body-building pics blow me away–I love the muscle-building part myself but can’t imagine the pain it took for you to cut for those competitions.) You look so beautiful in your pictures with the children, and no matter what I read, I can’t believe anything except that you love being with them. So how hard this time must be.
Post-partum depression can be overwhelming, if that’s what happened to you. I had my own run of hiding in the bedroom as someone described above, after a mid-term miscarriage and death of my mother hit at the same time. I held it together while my children grieved, but then it was like the air became too heavy to breathe. It was so hard on my children. It is amazing what we can hide from the rest of the world until things really crash, and even then many seem to ascribe some kind of ill intent or laziness to that depression.
One of the worst recent “messes” came from what I see now was really just a small error in judgment. There was a bad guy there just waiting to take advantage of that, and I am SO lucky that even worse things didn’t happen. But I can never take that momentary mistake back, and keep working on forgiving myself for that, and for all my other mommy mistakes. Because it is even worse for my children if I don’t.
I don’t know what happened to Kyron, and I’m not sure you do either. But I do hope you will share with authorities any and everything that might help. If for some reason you do not feel safe doing that, maybe you can at least share it all with your attorney for now.
You are SO not alone, and there ARE many who will believe the truth. Please find a way to forgive yourself for whatever little or big error may have found its way into your life. I’m sure Kyron will forgive you, too. He probably already has. But he needs to come home.
Another flawed mom,
lizzy
I have been away for a family reunion this weekend but the first thing I did on return was to check on Kyron.
Terri..please know there are people praying for you and your family. I pray for you to have the strength to tell what needs telling. I also pray that you will recieve whatever support you need to make this happen. Kyron needs you!
I know.
I am willing to worry about that later. Writing this piece comes from places I did not know I had, but I felt Kyron deserved.
Nothing changes for me if Kyron is deceased.
What we are going to do if Terri can have the courage to asisst in locating him, WE will find the courage to forgive her and support her on her journey.
I had a dream the other night that I was at the school alone, and every window and every door were wide open. I wonder if that is how Terri feels.
B
TY
B
Dear Terri,
As someone posted just a few messages above, Kyron’s absence will impact sweet Kiara (and she is a mini you-what a cutie!). She will indeed become clingy, unusually fussy, and her sleep will become fractured because she will be afraid to relax and go to sleep and to stay asleep because someone else may not be there when she wakes up. Toddlers are not blank slates, nor do they readily rebound from life-altering events. Kiara is now missing Kyron, you, her home, her toys, her space, and her routine. That’s a lot for one tiny person to deal with. I’m sure this isn’t what you pictured for Kiara. She needs to know what happened to Kyron or she will grow up with a huge, gaping hole in her life. She will be haunted by fear that she had a brother, but he disappeared, and will that happen to her. As a mom, I know you don’t want her life marred and overshadowed by fear,anxiety,grief, and worry. I’m not saying you did or didn’t do anything. I am just asking you to set yourself, Kiara, and James free.
James’ world has been turned upside down, as well. I don’t want James separated from you by worry/distrust/suspicion or anger at having to defend you/anger that he’s been dragged into this solely because he’s related. I just don’t want to see you lose it all: Kiara, James, your husband, your home, and maybe even your friends and relatives. You do have a choice, Terri. You’ve had a choice all along. It all starts and ends with the truth, the complete truth. Freedom is an incredible feeling…freedom from fear, freedom from running, freedom from having to watch your back, and freedom from hiding. Freedom to be able to trust somebody. Blink is trustworthy and I’m sure she has the resources to get you help. You do have a choice, it’s not too late. That expression, “The first step is the hardest.”, is only half true. It should actually be “The first step is the smartest.” because it puts you on the road to freedom and peace. No problem is ever solved by trying to hide it. Let’s solve this one, o.k.? Fear, torment, worry aren’t God’s best for you. He created you for so much more. He loves you no matter what- John 3: 16 “For God so loved the world [every single human being,a world full of sinful people], that He gave his only begotten Son, so that whoever believes in Him might be saved.”.
Sister posted on this thread that this whole situation is not going to just go away. People are not going to stop looking for Kyron and questioning because Kyron is a little boy. Just like they would not stop looking for Kiara…and you would not want them too. Just because they’re looking for Kyron, doesn’t mean no one cares about you. There are more people than you’ll ever know praying for you. We want this to be a win-win situation for you, Terri. Help us by helping yourself. Please share everything you know with Blink, your attorney, or a licensed counselor…for your sake. Kiara & James need their mom, your parents need their daughter, your friends need you.
Terri
If you look at my previous comments you’ll see that I have been more than supportive and disbelieving of other theories which pointed the finger directly at you. As a mother of five children I saw the genuine love and caring that you gave to Kyron through your pictures and interactions with him. I continue to stand by you and as this continues to unravel, I would implore you to continue to show that caring and love we all see you had for Kyron by doing whatever is necessary and in your power to make this end. Cannot imagine the pain you are going through now but getting the truth out in the open (No matter how ugly) is the only way to make it end. I continue to stand by the feeling that you did not and would not have directly hurt Kyron but if any actions you took indirectly hurt him, I woud urge you to bring those into the open. I personally know that if one of my children was missing I would gladly go to the ends of the earth to bring them back DESPITE what the consequences of that might be. I feel very strongly that you share this sentiment. Amber
Terri, we live close to one another, our husbands have the same job and from day one I have been grieving with you. Many many moons ago I was a 19 y.o expecting my baby girl as an unwed mom in another country than this one. A country that had laws that said that if you were not 21 y.o you had no legal guardianship power over your child unless you were married. My parents, embarrassed that I was unwed were of the opinion that I was not fit to be a mom even though I had given them no reason to think that. I loved that baby girl with all my heart, my only mistake was that I wanted a place of my own so I could raise her the way I saw fit. My parents took that opportunity to take away my baby and told me to leave the house, I was not welcome anymore and was no longer considered their daughter. Law enforcement took me away to a convent where nuns ruled a kind of ‘closed work community’, where I was taught what happens to bad catholic girls and I did not see my daughter again. My heart was shred to pieces and many times I felt I would die of yearning so much for her, it physically hurt so very very much. And instead of protesting I became a hermit, closed my mouth and felt I could not speak again. Nothing I would woul be believed or make it better.epode already had made up their minds that I was a bad person without even knowing me.
Why am I writing you all this because I want you to know that even though a lot of people ask you to do the right thing, there are people out there that know the pain you must be feeling being separated from your children. First Kyron and than Kaira is taken from you while you were powerless and could do nothing to prevent that. I know you must worry how much she misses you and I also know how much you must hurt because you miss them so very very much. And if you’re anything like me than you feel that only your children can make you whole again.
I grief and cry with you, I have the feeling I know why you remain silent, I did the very same thing, unfortunately it did not solve anything, but some people are introverts and everyone processes trauma in their own way. I wish and hope that you all will be reunited soon and that wounds can start to heal.
Blink: Do we know for sure if Terri reads here? I was just wondering?
“I had a dream the other night that I was at the school alone, and every window and every door were wide open. I wonder if that is how Terri feels.
B”
Does, or can Terry even feel anything– will she be touched by the caring responses here? Or is she just another Casey Anthony, incapable of love and caring even for her own baby daughter? Her actions in the coming days will make the choice clear, and I hope it’s that Terri is capable of loving her own child and can make a difference, and for whomever she does care, bring the missing child home and let the healing begin.
Terri
I am also a mother to a baby girl about the same age as your angel Kiara, so I would like to “speak” you to mother to mother. I can only imagine the pain you are currently in, not having your baby with you. As a stay at home mom, I know you and Kiara probably have a very close bond and it must be gut wrenching thinking about her and wondering if she cries for you at night or walks around saying “momma” looking for you. I suppose it helps to know that she is safe, and with people that love her and would protect her from harm. Now, imagine the pain that Kaine and Deseree must be in, not only are they not with their baby, but they do not have that peace of mind knowing he is safe, that he is being protected and loved, that he may be crying for his mommy, but nobody is coming to comfort him. I do not believe you know his exact location or have done anything directly to harm him, perhaps it is naive of me. But if you have any information that you are holding onto that could help in locating him I beg you to share it. There is at least 1 person in the world that knows where that precious boy is, how selfish of that person to cause so much wide spread pain to save their own skin. Kyron did nothing wrong, he just got caught in the middle of something ugly, please don’t make him pay this price. Any information you have could help locate him, maybe you don’t even realize you have the key to unlock this whole mess. Mother to Mother, please share all you know. Just like Kiara, Kyron deserves to be home with the people that love him.
Terri,
I do not know you but you are so much in my prayers. Looking at your family pictures I see the love you have given your children. You are a beautiful woman and life is not easy for beautiful women. Kyron is loved by people all over the country and we extend the love to you as well. Kiara must be missing him terribly! You must feel very alone right now but believe me there are many of us who think of you day and night so you are truly not alone. I am reaching out to you as a mother who also loves her children. I plead for your help with the knowledge that whatever has happened I know God understands and forgives.
Please help us bring Kyron home!
Sincerely – Cate
Terri,
I’m a very practical person. All the coulda/woulda/shoulda thinking and talking and emoting won’t bring Kyron back. So, how do you pick up the pieces and face the future?
I’ve been reading about mothers in jail, and it makes me so incredibly sad. I hope your attorney is consulting with other attorneys whose expertise is in child custody and in prisoner rights; now is the time to get advice there because you will have to solve one or both of those issues too. If you are cleared of any charges relating to Kyron and the alledged murder for hire of Kaine, you will still have a custody battle to fight in civil court. Your current attorney’s work will impact that battle. Insist that he consider your future battles that are not currently his task; that is in your best interest and you must repeatedly insist that he address it.
I know you have 2 living children to consider (maybe 3) and I would never expect you to sacrifice yourself, as some people have, for the sake of one child. You have mothered three. I trust you to do what is in the best interest of them all. I do TRUST you. I know you will continue to do your very best as a mother.
If you know that Kyron is gone from this earthly life, then I offer you my sincerest condolences in your loss. God be with you as you go forward.
Good morning Terri,
Just wanted to check in with you and let you know that I am still here supporting you, offering you acceptance, love, and healing. Your story is changing us all. You are suffering. Take refuge in the peace we offer you here. Just let it hold you, rock you, and provide you with the strength you need to get through this day. Namaste means, loosely translated, I bow to the God/light within you. Namaste, Terri. We are all one.
ISpy says:
July 12, 2010 at 2:22 am
“Kyron’s absence will impact sweet Kiara (and she is a mini you-what a cutie!). She will indeed become clingy, unusually fussy, and her sleep will become fractured because she will be afraid to relax and go to sleep and to stay asleep because someone else may not be there when she wakes up. Toddlers are not blank slates, nor do they readily rebound from life-altering events. Kiara is now missing Kyron, you, her home, her toys, her space, and her routine. That’s a lot for one tiny person to deal with. I’m sure this isn’t what you pictured for Kiara.”
that was the really smart! ISpy….thank you for not forgetting that cute lil baby is suffering too.
ISpy says:
July 12, 2010 at 2:22 am
“Kyron’s absence will impact sweet Kiara (and she is a mini you-what a cutie!). She will indeed become clingy, unusually fussy, and her sleep will become fractured because she will be afraid to relax and go to sleep and to stay asleep because someone else may not be there when she wakes up. Toddlers are not blank slates, nor do they readily rebound from life-altering events. Kiara is now missing Kyron, you, her home, her toys, her space, and her routine. That’s a lot for one tiny person to deal with. I’m sure this isn’t what you pictured for Kiara.”
that was the really smart! ISpy….thank you for not forgetting that cute lil baby is suffering too.
It cannot be undone, Terri. What you are in control of is what happens next. You could let it play out as you live in denial of the truth, let the scene replay in your soul and fester, let your daughter grow to become one of those who accuse you of being the one to have harmed her brother, or you could set it straight. Only you can do this. Obviously it is not easy to choose the high road, but your daughter’s future depends on it. You are strong. You can do this for her. It is time.
Blink, your compassion and outreach to Terri is so very kind. Without even knowing if this woman is worthy of your kindness & understanding, you courageously have extended it to her.
I pray she is reached by your heartfelt plea to help bring Kyron home.
To Terri
I say this, you are a grown woman in control of yourself. Make the responsible decision to come forward and help find Kyron. Whatever pain, suffering, hardship or stress you’re experiencing — you are an adult and can take it.
Kyron is a 7 year old little boy, completely innocent and helpless, totally at the mercy of whoever has him. You must forget about yourself and your problems. You have a duty to step up and speak the truth. You have the power to end this family tragedy.
If you have an ounce of decency in your soul, right now — call the police and tell them the truth about everything.
Reclaim your humanity, demonstrate that the love & devotion you’ve bestowed on Kyron and your family wasn’t an act, that it was real and that you still love them all. Even IF you are responsible in some way, you can still show you love your family. Speak the truth.
Be the mother you are supposed to be. Be the wife you are supposed to be. Be the friend you are supposed to be. Be the law-abiding citizen you are supposed to be.
Dear Terri,
When I look at these pictures of Kyron and see his big, beautiful smile
I believe there is NO way you could harm or hurt him. His smile is
directly at you. I can just see you laughing with him and snapping his
picture. You love him. You have taken care of him for 7 years. He is your
child. I hope you can help him. He is depending on you. In his smile,
I see so much trust in his eyes.
If I could see you in person, I would hug you, let you cry, and we
would try to figure out what could possibly have happened.
I am sure you are worried sick about him and miss him so much.
I pray that there is some way for you to help him come
home. He is depending on you.
Sincerely,
Stars
Blink:
My comment from 10:55 am today is still awaiting moderation, while later comments are appearing as posted. Oversight?
I finally commented here because I, too, want to send my support and practical advice to terri.
thank you for allowing me to do so
“Blessed be God in His Angels and in His Saints
O Holy St. Anthony, gentlest of Saints, your love for God and Charity for His creatures, made you worthy, when on earth, to possess miraculous powers.
Encouraged by this thought, I implore you to obtain for me Terri Horman’s peace of spirit through truthfulness and Kyron Horman be found and returned to the loving arms of his family.
O gentle and loving St. Anthony, whose heart was ever full of human sympathy, whisper my petition into the ears of the sweet Infant Jesus, who loved to be folded in your arms, and the gratitude of my heart will ever be yours. Amen.”
“Blessed be God in His Angels and in His Saints
O Holy St. Anthony, gentlest of Saints, your love for God and Charity for His creatures, made you worthy, when on earth, to possess miraculous powers.
Encouraged by this thought, I implore you to obtain for me Terri Horman’s peace of spirit through truthfulness and Kyron Horman be found and returned to the loving arms of his family.
O gentle and loving St. Anthony, whose heart was ever full of human sympathy, whisper my petition into the ears of the sweet Infant Jesus, who loved to be folded in your arms, and the gratitude of my heart will ever be yours. Amen.”
OT: In the picture above, is Kierra holding a whoopi cushion?
I would think Terri would at least move out of the house so that Kiara can live there until everything is worked out.
Dear Terri,
I have been reading all these wonderful posts for a couple of days now, as I hope you have. It gives me great joy to see that there are so many people here with the strength of heart to put the finger-pointing and mudslinging aside, and share their love and support for you here. I hope that you can draw upon the positive energy that is directed towards you here, and find your own strength in it.
You and I are both blessed with lots of lovely red hair, and we both have beautiful daughters who are close in age. When I see the photos of you and Kiara together, they remind me of the photos of my daughter and I that I cherish so much. These are some of the most precious moments in our girls’ lives. They are getting to that age where they want to be just like us. I hope that whatever hell you’re going through, you can find the strength to rise above it, and show Kiara what it means to be a strong woman of integrity. You will find a way.
We redheads are tough cookies, I know you will find the courage to do what you can to bring this all to a close.
Much love to you,
H
Blink, thanks for this place to let us help our sister when she’s in trouble!
“What we are going to do if Terri can have the courage to asisst in locating him, WE will find the courage to forgive her and support her on her journey.”
you know what I agree 100% with that B, IF IF IF terri would assist in locating him and come to terms with the truth MOST if NOT ALL people would share your sentiment.
HAS Terri made any attempt to respond to you by post or email? Have you heard anything from her sources about her deciding to fully cooperate and NOT LIE???
Dearest Terri,
When Kyron first went missing, I saw the photographs of your eldest with Kyron, and then Kyron with Kiara. What beautiful children you have! Your little Kiara, what a doll! She is as beautiful as you are. Gorgeous eyes – so sweet. God you must miss her so much. There is no substitute for baby girls. I too have a boy and a girl, both so wonderful and unique. For girls, there’s something about the way feel, the way they touch, the gentleness and the nurturing. The sweet sounds of them breathing in and out and the simplicity in their eyes. Beautiful.
Terri, you must be going through hell right now. Why is it that I feel that you feel numb. That you have felt this way for a long time. Are you getting counseling at this time? Are people close to you helping you? I mean REALLY helping you and without judgment?
I know there was a time when you felt full and happy, and somehow this has slipped away. Dearest woman, you are supported, and will be supported throughout this difficult journey you have chosen. I know your children have you in their heart. The umbilical cord is still attached, you know. You are loved by them unconditionally – guaranteed.
Peace to you Terri,
With love,
Kristine
Dear Terri,
I want to say up front that I have been following your situation from the very beginning because when I learned of, and saw, the photo you took of Kyron at the science fair I had a ping of intuition that you were somehow involved in his disappearance. I realized, of course, that this was unfair to you, that it didn’t really make sense, and, as things progressed, I tried to dismiss all of the talk of telltale body language, lifestyle choices, etc., as mere speculation. Still, the revelation of an alleged murder for hire plot against your husband, together with family members’ pleas for you to cooperate with the investigation, have made it difficult for me to shake off my initial impression that you may have had something to do with whatever happened to your missing stepson.
If you are innocent, Terri, then you are living through my two worst nightmares – losing a child, and being suspected of a crime you didn’t commit. I can’t possibly imagine the unrelenting pain and fear of being in such a place, with only the cold comfort of knowing you are not guilty. However, if you are somehow involved in what happened to Kyron, then as others here have said more lovingly and eloquently than I, only the truth can really set you free.
Regardless of which way it is, please consider the fact that someday, in all likelihood, your soon-to-be ex-husband, Kaine, will re-marry, and your precious daughter, Kiara, will have a stepmother. So here are my questions for you:
1.) How would you want this woman to care for your daughter?
2.) How could you help her?
3.) What else can you do to make sure that Kiara will be safe?
My faith teaches me that we are all sinners, and I know this to be true in my case. It also teaches me that judgment is the Lord’s prerogative, not mine, and that each of us has a part to play in ending the cycle of violence that is so tragically unique to the human condition. This is truly a choice, and one that takes courage and strength. If there IS something you can do in this regard, I believe that you have that kind of courage and strength.
Terri,
May a Higher Power give you strength and courage in your journey to peace. I hope and pray that this will have a happy ending for your entire family.
To Blink-
Thank you for pointing everyone in the right direction. Also, it was nice to hear your voice. As another poster said, you don’t have much accent at all!
My 5 year old’s lovey is “Bobby”
Terri:
I posted directly to you a couple of weeks ago… I shared with you (and everyone else out there) that I know what it is like to have been deeply betrayed and hurt by a man. To be treated as if you were less than zero. To be hurt and betrayed so badly that it was almost painful to even THINK.
Know this, I am a strong women. I am very capable of taking care of myself and my young daughter. I make it clear what I will and will not allow to happen to me in my life. So his betrayal COMPLETELY knocked me on my *ss.
I wish I could find the gift of being able to forgive (like others seem to be able to do…) so far, I have not found that gift (but I am still trying to allow myself to forgive).
It has been over 6 years since I was betrayed (while pregnant and after having just lost two babies in a row ) and I am still angry. That said, that betrayal actually made me stronger than I had EVER been before. With his betrayal, I was forced to face my greatest fear and I became more powerful for it.
I don’t know you, but I think you are a powerful woman. Maybe even more powerful than you know. Like you, I have a young daughter. I will raise her to realize her worth and power while she is STILL young.
I think YOU probably have at least some knowledge or information that could be used to assist in answering some of the big questions surrounding Kyron’s disappearance. Little boys and little girls don’t just disappear.
Don’t let the pain and anger you feel from being betrayed by Kaine ruin you. Kaine, nor anyone else can control you. Find your own power. I guarantee you, at this point, Kaine realizes he underestimated how he could treat you.
If you have any information that will solve the mystery of where Kyron is, please share it somehow. No matter what, be brave and stay strong. Nobody can ever take away who you are. Do what is right by Kyron… because he is only a little boy, Kyron is not Kaine.
Terri,
They say you read these blogs. I am not sure about that but I have something I want to tell you.
If I were in your place…the most important thing in the world to me would be the chance to spend even one more day with my kids, or one hour, or even one minute. I think that in spite of all that is happening to you…this must be your main thought.
I will not pretend you won’t face charges. You probably will. But how severe those charges are depends on you. You need to sway the way people feel about you so you can get the best jury you possibly can. Do something great now and some of your charges can maybe be dropped in plea agreements.
All of your kids must have broken hearts right now. Kids seem to love their mom’s no matter what. Help them not hurt, Terri. Try to do what you can to fix things for them and for yourself. Please bring Kyron back.
you must be missing kierra terribly. I am sorry for your pain. I have a little girl too and I know I am her world. the news on the other link about mike cook is not all that surprising and really, it makes no difference. it does lead me to think you must be lonely. We do need others, don’t we? I hope he is supportive of you and helps give you the strength you need to get through this. When the storm passes you will have a chance to be Kierra’s mama again.
Hi,
I am so impressed with your willingness to look past the general “popular” consensus that has already tried and convicted Terri – without a shred of hard evidence I might add – and focus on what is truly important, which is finding Kyron and putting this horror to rest.
I went to junior high and high school with Terri, and none of us can imagine her doing anything like this. We are all hoping and praying that Kyron will be found safe and healthy, and that Terri is an innocent victim in all of this. But the longer it drags on, and the more rumors that surface, the harder it gets to remain faithful.
As I have said to many of my friends during the past month, I would rather eat crow later if it does turn out that Terri did something, than to not defend her – and our constitution – now, when we don’t know anything.
Thank you for being objective and truly caring, and for doing an absolutely fantastic job of putting things in perspective.
Praying for Kyron,
Angela
What I said above (post #18) is the truth. If Kyron’s disappearance is not resolved, Kiara will grow up with survivor’s guilt. She will live her life in the shadow of Kyron’s disappearance and she’ll likely become insecure, fearful, unable to trust other people (particularly her mother because without resolution, people will long remember this case and Kiara will hear their whispers and their innuendos- and be defenseless against them). She’ll likely come to resent her mother. None of which is good for Kiara or Terri.
Although I don’t personally know Terri or Kiara, I do know that withholding the truth never fixes anything or anyone. I would hate to see that sweet girl damaged in any way. She is a miracle, one of a kind masterpiece by God. The choices parents make do affect their children, either blessing or curse. I want blessing for Kiara. I want blessing for her momma too. Terri, please choose blessing and not curse for yourself and Kiara. You can do this.
Terri ~ this whole thing is turning into that drawer we all have in the kitchen…you know, the junk drawer…you open it up and everything is jumbled, a mess, and you cant find what you are looking for, but that broken piece of string from the basement pull light is in there, a bottle cap from rootbeer is floating around, and theres no batteries in the flashlight because they went into a christmas toy long ago…it doesnt make sense why we keep those things, useless broken things, along with the good things we can use but cant see at the bottom of the drawer….Its the same with how this whole thing is playing out. It just doesnt make any sense to us sitting on the outside, why these things keep floating to the top that just do not make any sense at all. I am hoping and praying that it does make sense somewhere, sometime to you and to the people who are working hard in regards to your children’s safety and wellbeing. Im sure you already know that your children are counting on you to do the right thing. If you are attempting something dangerous on their behalf, may God go with you. And dont go alone. Reach out to someone who will help you find the way back to you, for all of your children’s sake.
Godspeed, Terri.
Hi, Terry,
I saw you at Trader Joes, and had to take a second look at you, because you look like another friend of mine. You looked back at me, probably wondering why, is this woman, looking at me, but the reason was, because you look like someone I know, who lives across town. I was over trying the yummy coffee, when I saw your bright, flowing red hair.
You are a beautiful lady! You were rushing and out shopping and it seemed like you were enjoying some time out, by yourself. You have been under a lot of pressure dealing with 3 children for most of your life. You have given and given to your family, with just a tiny nod of thanks. It has to get old and I bet you have basically felt unappreciated, for all that you have done for the kids, your FF, parents and family. It has been a big job, and some one has had to do it. YOU!
Being a volunteer at school, helping out weekly is additional work and pressure, you probably didn’t need or want. But, to be the good wife and mom, you did it1 It is kind of fun and helps the kids sOOO much, as you know. A lot of people look up to you, Terry, and respect YOU! I encourage you to be honest, if you know anything else, just be honest.
You have high ideals and want to look good, as a body builder, it is unbelievable with what a person has to eat. The long hours of training that takes place are unreal. That has had to be tough, trying to get rid of baby weight, as you have always been slender. You have done well working at it! I am dealing with every day weight, as I love restaurants and it has not been an easy task, getting an extra few pounds off! I am sure it has been a goal of a lifetime to be strong, look good and look trim! You have been there and can do it again, if you want. It is an achievement that you have achieved, in the past! As we get older it is more challenging to keep the extra pounds off, and I use to hear it from the staff at work, but I never really took them seriously, until, I reached 50! All of them were right, and they would say, “Just wait” ! Meanwhile, I’d eat M&M and any chocolate, I could find. Good for you for being in the gym and working out, with the stress, you have had in your life. I am sure it has helped a lot, keeping your blood pressure low. Continue to take care of yourself, it is important!
Terry, you have values, high expectations for yourself, you have been an honest person, and a model to your children and friends. You have had some bumps in the road, it looks like, but you have risen above them and continue to try and make things right. You have gotten yourself into some trouble, but, try and do what it takes for you to get yourself out of all this trouble. Be honest to yourself, and to your children because everyone will love you, even, if you have made some poor choices or terrible mistakes. Turn things around, go forward, tell the truth!
Please use your medical and dental insurance, it gets super expensive on your own and try and go on with your life, if possible. The public has been judgemental, the worst, here in Oregon. I didn’t know Portland, OR, was so full of rude and judgemental people. Trying to convict a person in a blog, is completely uneducated. Yes, everything has gotten out of control, but justice will come from somewhere, it always does, and sometimes, it takes time.
Terry, just be true to yourself, tell all that you know, and if you don’t, Karma will take over, in the end. Take your lashes or consequences, if need be, and move on… Your family, children, and you, don’t need this in your life. I think you have better things to do. PTSD, Bipolar and all disorders are treatable and there are good medications to help out all disorders. Take good care of yourself, so that you can be a wonderful Mother to your children. The kids need you, and YOU, can not help them, until, you are feeling mentally healthy yourself. With all the stress, no one could feel healthy. I hope that you have a good support system around you, that will encourage you to do, what is right. Honesty is always the best policy and it is what we always teach, children to do, and it doesn’t matter what their age is.
Your life has taken on so many different curves, and you haven’t had a minute to yourself, it seems with all the obligations you have had. There is nothing worse than a cheating husband, when you have been doing, what feels like everything for the good of the family. Then, looking at Kryon, and having to see a “little Kaine”, has had to be super hard for you. He is a cute, and looks exactly like his father, and I bet, he has an interesting personality, out of all the kids you have come in contact with. Having to raise your partner’s child, is hard enough, when you have your own child to raise. It is a nightmare, when your husband, doesn’t get along with your son and your son has to leave. Time out, helps, and you will not have to deal with that issue,for a while. Having to make the drive, in all that traffic to Eugene, had to be a pain, every other weekend. It shouldn’t have just been your job, to make she he was there on time.
With the disolut….. of your marriage, life will go on and change, hopefully for the best.
Terry, your daughter, is a beautiful, little girl! She looks so much like you and I bet she misses you more than you will ever know. You can bet, she cries for you each night and her bedtime will be the worst for her. No one, is going to be able to love her and care of her, the way that you will. Please find out from your attorney if there is a way that you can get some visiting rights, with a state DHS rep present, if possible.
Be brave, be honest, and work with your attorney. Be a trustworthy person. May Kyron, be found as soon as possible. If you know anything more, share it. Honesty is important and you would never want your children to think of you as a person who lies and is dishonest. Be who you are, and be a good example to you children. You owe it to them, just as your parents have owed honesty, to you.They have tried to do their best to raise and support you in all that you do. It seems like you have a lot of friends. I hope your new boyfriend, Michael, has nothing to do with the disappearance of, young, sweet, Kryon. May this young, loving boy be found, as you can see, the world cares about him and will not allow him to ever be forgotten, no matter what has happened.
I’m including one reliable link to an explanation of Borderline Personality Disorder. (“Borderline” is an old term, but understanding of the disorder has grown considerably with research.) I think it provides the most understandable arrangement to date of the puzzle pieces of your behavior that I have read about so far, including the latest story of the new affair. This article is not a perfect match, and not a criticism. It’s a road map you can use to see if this is truly the path you’ve been on.
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder-fact-sheet/index.shtml
I have never, and could not, diagnose someone with BPD, but I was part of several psych evals to successfully rule it out in a family member. I have wondered about this almost from the start, and each new event seems to fit even more closely.
This is not about a legal defense, but about understanding mental health issues that result in unhealthy behaviors that lead people to hurt others as well as themselves.
It’s also about the maze of problems a person can feel trapped in with no exit in sight, repeating the same dead end attempts to feel better – attempts that don’t work and no longer fool those around you into thinking you are happy. Those on the outside of the maze continue to call out that help is possible. There is no disgrace involved in needing help. If you stand still and reach out, we will find you.
It isn’t necessary to answer all the “why’s” or to have an accurate label for what or who has caused all of this. It’s only necessary to admit that what you’ve done to make things feel right for you has made things worse, not better, for everybody. You can’t prove you are a valuable and loved person through doing volunteer work, having a baby, being successful in a bodybuilding competition, having sex, managing a household, going to college, or anything else. You have great value simply because you are human – you are one of us.
You’ve been seeing yourself in a mirror that lies about your image. It tells you that your physical image is more important than the character you develop inside. It tells you your image is incomplete without someone else in the mirror to show who you really are. Your old mirror tells you that you aren’t good enough. When you (and we all do) make big mistakes, the mirror makes them even bigger like a funhouse mirror and you start to lose sight of the real you. That mirror needs to be broken and replaced – and there are caring people who can help you do that.
Hi Terri,
Just wanted to send you a quote from Desiderata. I keep it clipped on my daily calendar:
“Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees or the stars; you have a right to be here.”
Nurturing yourself and nurturing Kiara are intimately intertwined. Because she came from you. Because she will have the same deep sense of incompleteness due to all that has happened as you do due to being adopted. Every adopted child, no matter how well loved by their adoptive family, always has to resolve for themselves that deep wound of “why did my biological parents, especially my mother, give me up?”
I don’t know how, or if you have resolved that for yourself. But Kiara will have a very similar pain to resolve. Be there for her when that time comes. It will complete a circle of love and healing for you both. Only YOU can do that. No stepmom can do it. Only you.
Be patient with the legal process. Fight for access to Kiara so you can complete the circle. You’re not going to be able to see her right now. Like I suggested before, work with Mr. Houze to get access to her legally, and eventually. It will require your thinking brain and your intelligence. Use them now for you and Kiara. You CAN wait for her.
Woke up thinking about you and hoping you’re alright. The stress is probably wreaking havoc with your brain chemicals. Mr. Houze should be able to get you to an expert who can adjust the antidepressants, if you’re still on them. Psychiatrists these days are brain chemists and the most experienced medical specialty in their use. They rarely do psychoanalysis anymore. And family doctors or other specialists don’t have the daily experience with these meds that psychiatrists do. Hope you’ll get that support for yourself; you need your emotions in the background so you can engage your thinking brain now.
Thinking of you often.