Caylee/Casey Anthony Case: Your Resolution to NOT HATE The Anthonys
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Orlando, FL– On the Eve of the New Year, it struck me that I have yet to form my New Years’ Resolution, and hopefully, impart one to the dedicated readers of blinkoncrime.com.
After reading this comment from a longtime reader and poster, I realized it would be the basis of what I will ask of you in the coming year.
I guess I’m still alone in not begrudging the Ants any of the media money they collect. I know everyone’s mad at them for not publicly turning against their daughter, and for not helping the state firm up a death penalty case against her, and I get that, but I still have trouble mustering up hatred for them. I don’t think they’re particularly likable or even sympathetic characters—I think that’s why I can’t seem to hate them correctly. I see them as foibled and broken and just so regularly human that I kind of feel compassion for their situation.
I think it’s probably a misconception that they’re rolling in the dough. They’re not working right now. Cindy had to clean out her retirement fund thanks to the two losers she more or less supports, and who more or less have robbed her blind over the past many years. They have lawyers and godnoze who else sucking money out of them prolly as quickly as it comes in. Their grandchild is dead, their daughter is facing death—it sucks. I’m pretty positive that none of us would want to trade places with them. Not that you guys wouldn’t conduct yourselves differently than the Ants. You’re probably less screwed up than they are.
I wouldn’t want to walk a mile in their shoes, and I’m grateful that I won’t have to. But I am also quite sure that I can’t fully imagine what it feels like to be them. Everyone hates them. People surely still heckle them, threaten them, shun them, spit on them, attack them—day after day, relentlessly!—viciously on blog after blog, calling them names, making just horrible assumptions and speculations about them and wild claims against them. Mobs are not warm and fuzzy, whether they are storming your gates with pitchforks and torches, or lobbing negativity and vitriol at you over the ‘net.
(Oh, dear, I must be feeling the full weight of 2009 upon me. Reflection is a dangerous thing, lol.) At any rate, here’s wishing all the Blinksters a safe and happy and fulfilling 2010, hopefully with many fewer human tragedies for us to chime in on.
I think this perspective is a very fair one, and I share it. My response:
Suz-
I do not hate these people. I hate their behavior.
I hate that they enabled this girl for so long she never got the help, I feel, she desperately needed.
I hate that a 34 month old baby paid the price for it.
I hate that they have lied to protect the woman responsible for it.
I hate that they do not get that their job now, is to restore the dignity of that baby, and to warn others what can happen when one enables their child to the extent of actual lying and covering up for her, her entire life.
I stole a pack of Kool Aid when I was a kid ( that must be where it all started..) and my Mom drove me back to Food Lane and made me hand it to the manager and apologize.
The rest of my feelings are probably peppered throughout this site.
I do not want people to blindly hate the Anthony’s. I want them to learn the lessons they are supposed to, in the hopes this tragedy can be prevented where it might not have been previously, for someone else.
Imo, hate gets people nowhere. It prevents us from self-asessing and making the crooked places straight.
Happy New Year to You as well Suz.
B
To add to the above, I will share with you that my biggest fear in the conclusion of this case, is that hate, for anyone involved, wins out.
The easiest thing in the world to do is to cast dispersions and launch the atomic hate grenade. I am asking all of you to instead of sitting in the smokescreen that ensues, to open your heart to the real issue here.
Caylee Marie Anthony, in her short time on Earth, loved these people, unconditionally.
Maybe the way to break through to them is to just respect that part of their relationship. Momentarily, can I ask us to have a collective recall of a photo we have seen of Caylee with them? Full of life, love, and happiness.
I know they read here, so let me be the first to say that while I will continue to work to affect a successful prosecution in this case; I want you to know:
I know you loved her more than anything.
I know you would do everything differently if you could.
I know what happened to Caylee was not your fault, but you know who is responsible.
I know that you are struggling for a way to make this right.
I know that your ability to do so on your own may be shortly out of your control.
I know that people will understand your motivations for how this all started if you are simply, honest. I know people have a great capacity for forgiveness.
For me, the thought of Caylee’s death turning into nothing more than a bank account for some, and platform to spread hate, turns my stomach.
If hate wins, that is all it will ever be to those that we need to affect changes that will help someone else. The cycle continues.
I think Caylee deserves for her death to matter in a way for her legacy to be the focus of our energy. Please join me.
(editors note: For anyone who reads this and thinks Blink has gone soft, you know me better than that. I am just sick of the viral toxin shower that some seem to have taken before they comment on this case. It needs to end)
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Wow! Just read all the comments.
What a classy bunch. Intelligent, respectful and humbling comments. I have lots to think about. Thank you all for sharing. It’s not easy admitting ‘I’ could be so harsh and ‘extreme’ with my thought process. This can be an example we all learn from. As Chica said, this is about Caylee. The focus should be on her. I concur and raise her with ‘I can be a better person because of Caylee and her death’. We can see life through the eyes of an innocent child. I would LOVE to return to that kind of innocence. It can be done.
Well done Team Blink. I am proud and honoured to be on your team.
Love love love~~~
I am the first one to say I work at it to the point of exhaustion. I fail at it constantly, and just try again
B
Blink, it makes me feel terribly special when you acknowlege my posts. I know you don’t have to. There are far more intelligent and valuable contributors to this site. I just wanted to let you know!
I don’t think anyone on this planet has gotten it exactly right. The tragedy is not recognizing it and being completely unaccountable. Blink, I would NEVER put you in that category. You admit your faults, rise after the fall and redeem yourself. It’s not a destination, it’s a journey and you are on the right path dear friend.
Maybe it’s time to be kinder to yourself and acknowledge you are doing the best you can with what you have which is much more than I can say for myself.
Thank you for being you. I KNOW I can say this on behalf of all who read and post here.
I like this article. It reminds me of my favorite quote: No one heals himself by wounding another.
GREAT quote.
B
Happy News Years from Germany!!!!!
I cried when I read the portion of your article that says Caylee loved them unconditionally. I agree with that statement and it makes her murder and the cover up for the murderer all the more reprehensible in my mind. Makes me cry for CAYLEE.
I do not hate the Anthonys – I choose to ignore them as much as possible (along with their attorney). THEY are not the focus of the murder trial. Justice for Caylee is the focus. I do not want to see their faces on any tv program or news sound bites. I cannot tolerate the sound of their voices. I wish for them to stay out of the public spotlight, and not stir up discussion about anything they are doing (or not doing). Their behavior is so repulsive and indefensible that I cannot stomach putting my mind on them for any serious analysis of them. I am holding out NO hope or expectation that these people will ever do the right thing – it is not in their makeup. IMO
This article comes from a GOOD place, and I heartily endorse the sentiments expressed!
Thank you, well said.
B
That is such a cute picture of Caylee. Her face looks so innocent. What a brief blessing she was. I actually don’t hate the Anthonys. Nor do I hate crazy Casey. It just doesn’t help to hate them. Their situations, their characters, exist all over the US and internationally and until we are a more compassionate species, this will continue. The Dalai Lama’s book, The Art of Happiness, discusses the danger of entertaining extremes. I think this whole murder story with an innocent child lost at the center is the result of the exact type of extremes he indicated would inevitably create violence in the world: extreme fear, extreme ego, extreme vanity, extreme selfishness, possession, shame, passion, greed, lust, etc. All these states are extremes and cause us to lose site of compassion for others. And this particular cast of characters is so lost and so completely lacking in compassion. I don’t know that anyone can draw a line between who is guilty and who is innocent in this family, from an ethical perspective. There isn’t an ounce of truth in their lives–at least not anymore, not since they destroyed Caylee. Their existance is very sad if you think about what it must be like to live in such a fantasy land, so distant from peace. And it is very dangerous to the rest of us who have to protect ourselves and our families from those who entertain similar extremes. Hate is just another extreme. Compassion leads to action. That is what we need in 2010. We need to each be the change we want to see in the Anthonys and in the justice system and in our culture’s attitude toward children. Compassion doesn’t mean forgiveness or condoning any particular person’s choices. It is a lifting of your own passions and acting according to give others what they need in order to move toward goodness. What do the Anthonys need to get out of their current dangerous state? They need truth, the one thing they fear the most. Sad irony, isn’t it?
Wow.
You said that better than I.
B
We learned in the valley the lesson never comprehended on the mountaintop.
Blessings to all for a gracious, healthy and joyous new year.
And to you my dear friend.
Blessed Be.
B
Thanks Blink for all your hard work this year. I agree with the ridiculous amount of energy it takes to hate comments. I also agree not to accept the A’s behavior in this tragedy when it has encroached on the rights of innocent others. Having said that…I feel compassion for their loss, empathy for the self imposed guilt and remorse they must feel, and disgust for their blatant denial and attempts to muddy the waters of this investigation. I dont care about their appearance, Good God in their place I doubt I could get out of bed in the morning. The jewelry and make-up and referring to people as ” 10′s” is shallow and immature, and as I am not perfect I can hardly cast stones at their appearance. Ihope to see justice this next year, and I hope the Anthonys fade into oblivion with some kind of peace in their lives after the media all go on to another story.
Susan
A WOW from me too! Awesome post
Happy New Year Everyone
j
Hate and love are too very strong emotions. How can you hate or love someone you don’t personally know? They are an expression of two basic feelings. But life has many more emotions. The use of the hate could make those expressing it feel guilty or an attempt to gather symapathy. Like Lyons saying the state wants to kill my human client. The Anthony’s have a responsibility to own their decisions. Their actions and responses are a rseult of their decisions and they protray them to the public in their appearances. They want sympathy for their daughter sitting in jail who will face a DP Trial. They want sympathy and understanding for them selves. First they have to be more realistic and stop blaming anybody. Draging others in their mud is disgusting to me. That is not hate but disgust. Let the Jury decide after the Lawyers have finished their arguments. No I do not walk in their shoes, but every step they took and take is of their own choosing. They are responsible for how they project themselves. For me the time has pasted. They are what they are nothing will change that. I have read to many untruths. I truly believe they love both their children and grand daughter. I have personally felt suprise, frustration, disgust, amazement, outrage, shock, and at one time pity. Hate never. I have learned much from this tragety. I pray they find Peace someday and they will be responsible for that effort. Happy Blessed New Year to you all.
This is a wonderful article to ponder as we rapidly approach a new year. It has reminded me of Aesop’s fable “The North Wind and The Sun”.
The North Wind boasted of great strength. The Sun argued that there was great power in gentleness.
“We shall have a contest,” said the Sun.
Far below, a man traveled a winding road. He was wearing a warm winter coat.
“As a test of strength,” said the Sun, “Let us see which of us can take the coat off of that man.”
“It will be quite simple for me to force him to remove his coat,” bragged the Wind.
The Wind blew so hard, the birds clung to the trees. The world was filled with dust and leaves. But the harder the wind blew down the road, the tighter the shivering man clung to his coat.
Then, the Sun came out from behind a cloud. Sun warmed the air and the frosty ground. The man on the road unbuttoned his coat.
The sun grew slowly brighter and brighter.
Soon the man felt so hot, he took off his coat and sat down in a shady spot.
“How did you do that?” said the Wind.
“It was easy,” said the Sun, “I lit the day. Through gentleness I got my way.”
I LOVE- LOVE that.
Thanks for shining on us with that, Kortni-
B
Susan ~ excellent.
I do not post much mainly read. Thank you for the different perspectives you provide on your site here. I have dearly enjoyed reading your articles that you post they have been enlightening by all means I especially, appreciate the time you take to back up your work with documentation. I have always been told if “gonna take a stand you better have the documentation to back it up” I value the great work you do and the posting of the commenter’s feedback will be looking forward to following your articles in the New Year 2010. Happy New Year!!!
Thanks dear Janice, HNY
B
Through this tragedy- the death of Caylee- the Anthony’s are despised by some because of their behavior especially early on…The smugness, lies, combativeness just upset so many people. I never hated them, but I had to turn off the TV at times when the grandparents appeared because I just couldn’t watch them anymore. I kept thinking as a Mom and a grandmother myself the devastation I would have felt…It was so hard to have sympathy…I do not hate anyone but I feel physically upset watching them speak. They lash out, but never at Casey who awaits trial for Caylee’s murder…I don’t think they will ever have any peace in their hearts or begin to heal unless they stop. I wish they would Do it for Caylee…That little angel remains in my thoughts and prayers, I do not believe in the death penalty, but I do hope Casey is convicted and sentenced to life without any parole. Thank you Blink for your great article. Blessings to all, may the New Year bring peace, happiness, and good health to all. Always count your blessings, hold your kids tighter and grandbabies too. For they are truly precious -given to us from heaven!
I’ll leave it to Spider Man…..”with great power comes great responsibility”. This is what makes me so upset with the Anthony’s. They have the power. The power to help right this wrong. Yet in everyway imaginable they have misused that power.
They have had the eyes and ears of the nation many times and rather than speak out about this tragedy in a way that might prevent something like this from happening again they have instead used that time to deflect any responsibility from either Casey or themselves.
With their Caylee bears and their SS Caylee Marie rescue boat….nothing more than a waste of someone’s donation money that probably sent that money sincerely thinking that they were doing donating to a worthwhile cause……Caylee bears, how many have been passed out since that ill spent hour on Larry King “promoting” them? And since when was that an original idea? Stuffed animals have long been handed out by police, fire/rescue, doctors etc to make children feel safe. Just how many searches has that overpriced fishing boat been on?
If they didn’t want to help right this wrong, then all they had to do was fade away into the background. Just stay quiet, stay off the news shows, stop making the appearances…GO AWAY. They have brought this on themselves and as long as they insist on misusing their time in the spotlight they will continue to experience the hell they have helped create.
I do not hate them but I do dislike the way they have handled the situation. Do I feel sorry for them? Absolutely not! They have created their own public and private hell and may they reside in it until they finally realize that “with great power comes great responsibility”. Take this opportunity to help instead of adding to the problem.
Sal-
thanks for weighing in. This was big for you and I get that.
B
OK Blink – FINE. I guess I don’t hate them. I am not sure exactly what it is that I feel when I think of them. I have never felt it before this case. I just can’t find the right word(s) to describe it but Vodka and Pomegranate juice in quantity on New Year’s Eve have the words just balancing on the tip of my tongue.
I don’t “forgive” or really believe in forgiveness. I have always felt that forgiveness is for God to give. I just learn to deal with feelings and situations and try to put them behind me asking God for the strength to help me. I learned long ago that I cannot change others, how they feel or their actions.
Caylee would be oh so happy to know of your article and the heart behind it.
I wish the following for the A’s. Happy New Year everyone.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
C
As one of the contributing editors, I am inspired by your capacity to put things in perspective, tirelessness on behalf of victims and their families, and your ability to be funny as hell when necessary.
I heart u woman.
Raising my pomtini
B
I have always stated that I do feel sorry for the Anthony’s. How horrible it must be for them to have to face day in and day out, that Caylee is gone, Casey is lost, and their lives will never return to the Good Ole Day’s. Ever since I heard the 1st 911 call, my heart went out to Cindy. Ever since I heard George went to the police station on his own, my heart went out to him. Ever since I heard Lee tried his best to get Casey to talk that first night, my heart went out to him. Casey has been manipulating their lives, and feelings from the very beginning. Long before we ever heard about precious little Caylee.
Casey never told them she wasn’t graduating.(until Cindy wanted to throw a party.)
Casey never told her mom she was pregnant.(until after the fiasco of the wedding at 7mnths)
Casey never told them who the father was.(Cindy told George not to push for an answer as it was bad for Casey’s pregnancy)
Casey never told them she didn’t have a job (not at sport’s Authority,or at Universal)
Casey never told them Caylee was missing(not until Lee and Cindy unwittingly supplied this scenario by asking who has her and when is the last time you saw her)
I believe the Anthony’s have walked on eggshells around Casey for much of her life and certainly after she had Caylee. They tried to appease her and the wrath or vengeance she would undoubtedly seek as retribution for having the audacity to question her, EVER.
Until you have lived with someone like this, you can never hope to understand.
I do not blame Cindy, George, or Lee for what ultimately happened to Caylee. They tried their best to provide a safe haven for Caylee, even if that meant mistakenly allowing Casey to run things. I do not believe Cindy could ever imagine her daughter could be so heinous as to do harm to Caylee for any reason,least of all, convenience or spite.
They were all victims of Casey. You can hear it in their phone calls and visits. They were afraid of pissing her off and her not leading them to Caylee. I wholeheartedly believe that in the beginning they thought Casey had given Caylee to some one else.
What I blame them for is lying and not taking a stand now, for Caylee. I know she is gone and she loved them all, but to day in and day out allow their daughter to stand mute about what happened to their Granddaughter, makes me very sad. To go out in every interview, still, and profess her innocence, it makes me very sad. To try and get others in trouble by insinuating that they had something to do with Caylee’s death, makes me very sad. To give sickening excuses for Casey’s behavior, now after they have seen the same evidence as we have, makes me sad.
I hope they will wake up, see we all do not hate them or their daughter and sit on the prosecutions side, while asking for the death penalty to be dropped.
Just say F it and go speak with your daughter, go visit her, we know you love her, love does not die because of a horrible act, we understand this, we are parents, daughters, sons, grandparents. Just please, do not expect us to believe all of Casey’s lies. Do not expect us to want her not to be punished, even if it was initially an accident, Caylee deserves more than that, you as grieving grandparents should want more than that, and Casey should in her heart of hearts know that the only way to make it right is to tell the truth, ask for mercy and accept her punishment.
Thanks for nudging us in a better direction, Blink. Caylee would not want to hear the awful things that are sometimes said about her family. That’s one of the reason’s I choose to post here. You never allow name calling. It is always appreciated.
TY friend, HNY and thanks for frequently being the calming influence here.
B
Hello all you blinksters and I hope you all have a very Happy and Prosperous New Year.
I Have read most of the above comments and raised two sons alone that are now in the military, one Army and one Air Force and let me tell you, I could have taken the easy road and let them get away with everything and use the excuse that I had no help from their very wealthy dads side of the family and when they stold, I could have just let it go BUT I DID NOT, I made them take back what they stold, apologize for lying and also I made them work to replace the many windows they broke…….. They did not (on my watch) LIE, CHEAT or STEAL and by the GRACE OF GOD I have raised two citizens that are very helpful to the USA… and one is now a parent.
My oldest is in Iraq and praying he will return home safely by the 15th of January. He has missed his sons Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and when he called his son and asked him if he was being good for Santa, his son replied ” I will be good daddy if you will come home” My son cried for awhile and is still missing his 3 year old son, 1 and a half year old son and his wife.
These Anthonys will hopefully read this and say OH MY, I guess we should be standing up for the VICTIM here and BRING HER JUSTICE!
Happy New Year and let’s get this angel the justice she deserves.
Nancy. Great Job with your boys.
More importantly, please extend the thanks for your sons service from us.
God Bless
B
Blink-
Thank you for this article.
Thank you also to all Blinksters, who are able to express their compassion with such eloquence.
Every day we choose what we carry with us, and with those feelings, those thoughts and perceptions, we weave the fabric in which we clothe our souls.
Happy New Year to all.
Inspiring. Thank you and HNY
B
I was ready to take my lumps, but much prefer the love and compassion I see here. It’s a New Year’s eve miracle!
Tonight I’ll raise my glass in a toast to Blinksters everywhere as we usher in the new decade. Here’s hoping for justice, and a world without these senseless tragedies.
Thanks for your lead. HNY
B
To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was YOU.
Unknown
He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass.
George Herbert
Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
Anonymous
To err is human, to forgive, divine.
Alexander Pope
Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
Mother Teresa
All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.
Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace.
Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike; each has their suffering. Some suffer too much, others too little.
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart.
Buddha
You hit my bullseye with this one. Thank you for posting choices for other’s bullseyes.
HNY
B
Happy New Year and Thank you. Pomtini clicks to All!
We, as a people, have the tendency to pull for the underdog and lift up those that have been kicked down and stomped. Had the A’s remained silent from day one we would have been next to them as a kindred spirit to help lift them from the depths their daughter flung them to. I fully realize they did not ask for the events that set this roller coaster ride through hell in motion. I also know that none of us here would wish this gut wrenching evil on someone we had been wronged by, much less a group of strangers from Orlando. The average BOC reader would give someone the shirt off of their back, but if you try to take it or beat it out of them, you had better pack a lunch because it is going to be a long day. I think many here just wish for the chance to help lift the A’s up. They just want the A’s to act like they deserve help.
When this trial is over I wish a few things for them.
I wish that they are able to put this all behind them and once again become productive, sane members of society.
I wish that they are able to forget Casey and never want to see her, whether taped or not. Seeing her for any reason is akin to thinking that the snake bite you will assuredly receive will not be that bad. If they visit her in prison it will just prolong their long journey back to reality.
I wish for them that they are able to forgive each other for the terrible things they have done to each other over the course of a lifetime and rekindle the love that brought them together in the first place.
I wish they would be able to nurture a relationship with the adult Lee, his future wife, and the grandchildren that will come their way in the future.
And mostly I wish that their precious first grandchild, who carved a place for herself in the hearts of so many, is able to find her way back into their hearts. Once there, I hope their forgotten love for her blazes anew and swells, filling them with the joy they should feel at having been a part of the life of such a sweet, bubbling, miniature pixie. They deserve that.
“Are you okay Papa?” is indelibly carved in my soul.
You just level me constantly. Whether I am laughing hysterically, in awe of your wit, or moved to tears at the level of compassion a man of your size and strength is capable of exuding, I am honored to be your friend.
I am also honored that as a contributing editor to BOC, you are such a force. No other description.
Blessings to you and yours Red R-
B
I still go back to Casey and her “darkness”. She is not right and has some personality disorders that have been explained here on Blink’s site, elsewhere on the internet, and T.V. It is impossible to have a normal life (meaning the Anthonys) when all the household energy is put towards trying to pick up the pieces of this type of personality. It is bigger than anyone can ever imagine and cannot be dealth with by the best parenting skills. Those that think the Anthony’s could have been better at parenting Casey are wrong. Even theraputic intervention does not guarantee a positive result. The Anthony’s lives were derailed a long time ago. They see life through a different lens because their lives were so off-balance due to dealing with crisis after crises. They’re still scrambling to pick up pieces – as dysfunctional as it seems to all of us. They have tried to handle things on their own for so long, they don’t know how to ask for the type of help they so desperately need and too deep in denial to reach out for the help. It is an isolating experience that they couldn’t talk about to anyone because it is so difficult to explain. They tried, but didn’t follow through to any great extent. Too proud – thought it would reflect negatively on them? They blame themselves for this tragic turn of events, and that is why they fight for Casey.
I am not making excuses for the Anthony’s. One day they will want to know more about what makes their daughter tick and stop making excuses for her. They don’t even realize that life is easier now with Casey in jail because they’re still cleaning up her messes. The turmoil is still there because they fighting for her life. They will one day look back and be able to reflect upon what they were up against all these years and see the havoc for what it is. I can’t judge them now for what they do. I don’t agree with it, but I can’t judge. I haven’t walked a mile in their shoes.
Thanks Blink, Happy New year, and may we all drink a cup of kindness.
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne ?
CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
And surely you’ll buy your pint cup !
and surely I’ll buy mine !
And we’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
CHORUS
We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine ;
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne.
CHORUS
We two have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine† ;
But seas between us broad have roared
since auld lang syne.
CHORUS
And there’s a hand my trusty friend !
And give us a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.
CHORUS
Red Ranger,
As the tears are flowing, I say thank you for your eloquence. Happy New Year.
I don’t hate, I hurt. Caylee is one child in a trillion who was dearly loved and severely neglected. Adults are to protect, not turn a blinds eye. This baby didn’t have a chance and there were plenty of warning signs that prove that. The Anthony’s need to come clean. Admit their involvement and pay the price behind bars. All of them. I don’t hate. I just care.
I used to think Cindy was nothing but a “liar”. After reading her deposition, I came to the conclusion that sadly, she was in such a state of denial that she wasn’t aware of the truth. She truely believes what she sais to be the truth. I actually felt sorry for her. George, I had the utmost respect for. He got up and told the truth and nothing but the truth in the beginning. Perhaps the truth was too painful for him and it has been easier to follow the footsteps of denial. Perhaps his denial, like Cindy, has become his truth. I can only imagine the pain they live in on a daily basis. I am not going to say that I haven’t gotten so pissed off at their mistruths, halftruths whatever you want to call it. It has infuriated me to a point of not being able to watch them on tv. At the same time, who am I to judge? none of us know how we would mentally, emotionally respond to the severe tragedies they have had to endure and under the public eye 24/7. I do hope they will know, that we the people, are not cold, callous, unkind. We just haven’t been able to understand how they cannot see what we see. It’s understood, they love and don’t want to lose their daughter. I just hope they can find peace in themselves and do the right thing and tell the truth. I think the truth will set them free. I forgive them, because I have faith they will do the right thing for their granddaughter. She cannot speak for herself and they will be her voice, we will be her voice. Perhaps if they know, we don’t hate them, we have love and compassion for them, they will see the light. One can only hope.
I am in the UK and have been following the Casey Anthony case with a sense of disbelief. First, of course, the horror of a gorgeous little girl whose life has been snuffed out, probably by her mother. But secondly by the – to me – utterly shocking way her parents are being vilified on boards like these, by the media and rent-a-quote lawyers to whom this family’s tragedy has now become a gravy train.
Believe me – and I work in the media – if anyone is making money out of this tragedy, it is the media pundits and the journalists who even as we speak are penning their tell-all psychobabble books to be released as soon as their is a verdict. I, too, doubt if the Anthonys are making money out of this in terms of a huge profit. I think they may be using some of it to stay afloat so they can “be there” for their daughter etc, but I suspect that most of any money they are making is going towards Casey’s defence team.I do not believe they are in on some plot to deceive to protect their daughter. I think they are utterly confused and helpless. I think they dread the thought that she did murder their Caylee and are fighting against that possibility with every fibre of theirbeings. Call it denial, call it desperation, but stop calling it deceitful. I think they lived with the fear that Caylee was dead for many months and fought against their fears to try to generate interest in actually finding her alive if, on the off chance, what Casey said was true. Yes, there may have been a huge row on the 15th between Cindy and Casey. Who wouldn’t pick a fight with Casey after the thefts, the cheque fraud etc. Imagine the guilt of thinking it possible that this row precipitated a kind of “snapping” in Casey that drove her to kill Caylee, be it by accident with her now desperately trying to cover it up, or deliberately. And please let’s not forget that it was Cindy and George who rang the police on their daughter, hardly the actions of people who are trying to deceive.
I don’t know if they all that dysfunctional. Lots of families have sore subjects and rows. I think they have hoped against hope that there is a Zanni. Supporting their daughter in this assertion is not such a sin, they are clinging to the possibility it may be true.
I, too, watched the depositions. I cannot see what all the fuss is about. These people have lost their beloved grand-daughter and may lose their daughter, and may be tormented by their own guilt. And they are Italian-Americans, who tend to be more expressive by nature, more aggressive. In my opinion that civil case could have been dealt with easily – Cindy was right when she suspected a trap. They were happy to say this Zenaida is not Zanny. The case wasn’t exactly frivolous if this woman has genuinely lost a job/her home etc, but I kind of doubt she has. Her lawyers were being very bullying and opportunistic. There was no need to put these grief-stricken grandparents through that. Yes, they were pissed off. Having been through a court case myself, on an entirely unconnected issue, I would be too. The lawyers were deliberately trying to get the Anthonys to say something that could affect their daughter’s trial. They were out to make a name for themselves, and it should never have happened, at least not like that. And if Cindy and George were angry, well, I don’t blame them. They are criticised for whatever they do and have people camping on their doorstep hurling abuse at them near their own home day in, day out. It’s disgusting.
They are two people whose whole lives are about to collapse, they should not he subjected to this abuse. None of the ‘deceptions’ I’ve seen them accused of are going to add up to a hill of beans in terms of influencing the outcome of this case. Why shouldn’t they try to help their daughter if they are asked to appear on TV shows, or whatever? Whatever they feel she did, they don’t want her to die – and that is no reflection on how much they loved Caylee.
In my view Casey did kill Cayley. I think she snapped, I think she has been trying to hold on to her sanity for a long time, there have been plenty of signs. In a way I think she has been crying out for help. I think now that this has created such a stir – and given that she has lied – that she does not know how to come clean. I think she is terrified of how this will affect her relationship with Cindy and George. I think there is a danger that people are unduly influenced in their judgment of her by the fact that she is pretty, a party animal (and not just since her daughter’s disappearance), probably promiscuous. But I suspect she had postnatal depression which, combined with her tenuous grip on reality, led to this tragedy. I suspect she is splitting off and defiantly refusing to show emotion because she knows she is being berated for this in the court of public opinion and she’s stubborn and trying to hold it together. Do I think she was a spoilt brat? Probably. But do I think she should face the death penalty for this? No. Emphatically not. Matricide is sadly fairly common and I’m sure you don’t put them all on Death Row.
She could end up their less because of the seriousness of her crime and more because people have decided they just don’t like her. And I don’t think that would be fair or a credit to the US.
See Red…That is why I adore you! I felt every word that poured out your heart through your finger tips. Thank you. To you Blink, thank you for constantly having to be brave enough to put yet another story out about a hurt/missing/deceased loved one. We both have children and your heart has to break into a million pieces with each story because I know you see it through their eyes. To the Blink posters, thank you for never making me feel like the uneducated, country girl that I am. I’m so proud to be part of the kindest, most compassionate, fair and caring news site there is and it’s only because of the tireless effort of Blink and her crew. I’m proud and you should be too. Happy New Year and God Bless to ALL at BOC and families.
Melissa, my dear gal. Your in luck, or I mean, we are in luck. Uneducated Country girls are my fave.
It would be a special fave to me if you never describe yourself that way again. You are anything but.
Do you have your Gift of Fear Book?
Peace and Love
B
Sorry, that should be a ‘there’ in the last paragraph, not ‘their’. It’s the early hours here in London!
We are now 31 minutes into 2010 here. Happy New Year to you Blink and all the Blinksters. May we all find peace this year, including the Anthony’s. I would never want to walk in their shoes. Thanks
That’s OUR Red
We own him proudly.
B
Blink, after following this blog for months on, your message tonite is one of empathy, and since empathy is a learned skill, thank you for appealing to the inherent sympathetic reflex we usually display re Anthony’s, either positively or negatively. This we do in our territorial defense of this beautiful baby girl, Caylee.
If I were to ask every blogger here, “what is the opposite of love,” their answer would likely be “hate.” Wrong answer…you have tried (without out labeling us all haters!)that the opposite of love is not hate, but “judgment.” Better yet, thanks for the empathetic approach to our judgemental reactions against the family of Sweet Caylee. Caylee touched our hearts, and we have defended her here; tonite you are giving us an opportunity for a New Year Resolution!
After all, sympathy is the reflex of judgment; say “yes” to “empathy.” I am “reflecting” right along with you. Happy New Year to you and all the Bloggers here.
TY and HNY
B
Yes red
are you tired papa! Tore at my heart!
after her singing you are my sunshine is forever engraved in my heart. Their loyaly needs to be to the only person that cared if papa was tired or not! I agree they need to forget Casey ! She hasn’t showed love or respect / loyalty to her parents. she continues to pout and act spoiled!!
She hated the parents caylee trusted. And adored!! and caylee felt happy and safe with them.
Red I like your wording you expressed what my heart feels
thank you
thanks blink for giving us freedom to express
without judgement
happy new
years blink with your heart of gold
!!! Happy new years friends
chica
chica
Very well said Blink…. Over the years I’ve learned that “hate” is like Cancer it hides in you and eats at you and slowly will destroy you. It’s best to try and let it go and as Dee said put it in a box to God.. We all abhor the actions of the Anthonys but they are the ones that have to live with them and will be judged by them. My biggest thing with them is why they can’t say Caylee’s name.. Just that little girl.. Then again I’m not in their shoes.. Let’s just all try to look at it differently and learn from this that we can hate the actions but not the person.. God Bless you all .. and Again thanks Blink for reminding us of where our priorities should be… Happy New year……
True dat.
HNY
B
Thank you Blink for your heartfelt words, it is especially a very appropriate time for you to share this–a new year and abolishing hatred, as it serves no purpose whatsoever. Justice for our Caylee without the hate. You are, as always, a very classy sleuth. Wishing you and yours a wonderful new year, and bless your heart always.
TY and HNY
B
At first, when George and Cindy were being honest about smelling the scent of death in Casey’s car, I felt a great deal of compassion for them–it seemed as if they were coming to terms with the idea that their granddaughter was dead and that, just maybe, Casey was involved. It later became apparent that neither of them could handle this kind of personal honesty. George fell into deep depression and needed the denial to keep himself alive. Cindy is so angry that it radiates off her in wave–that’s not smugness in the ZG depositions; rather, that’s barely controlled rage, possibly mixed with a heaping dose of self-loathing. Cindy, at least, is aware that they are twice losers, no matter how they react. If they support Casey, then they will seem as if they are blind to what she (allegedly) has done, but if they say that they want justice for Caylee and retribution against her killer, then they are apparently abandoning their daughter.
I don’t like the Anthonys very much, but I realize that I am primarily frustrated with how they are dealing with their situation. I think that they both need to meet with psychological professionals, if they are not already, and get their anger and sorrow under control. They should be permitted to grieve in their own way and there is no time limit on feeling and expressing grief, but the anger will eat Cindy alive and will be an incredibly detrimental force in the lives of the remaining family members in years to come.
Happy New Year, y’all, from Baton Rouge, Louisiana!
No hate in my heart…only love for Caylee.
Happy New Year everyone!
Hi Blink, Happy New Year to your precious family and all Blinkers.
I have mentioned this before on a blog that spoke about hating Casey Anthony and for me it is absolutely wrong to get to the place where you hate. A few months ago a loved one of mine was murdered in a home invasion for their need to steal for their drug habit. My loved one was left literally slaughtered on his bed. It has been, to say the least devastating to go through this kind of loss. It hurts everyday to think what he went through, but I can still say that even as sit and type this, I still don’t have hate after everything that has happened but I do have a holy indignation for someone who takes an INNOCENT life. I think if we get to a point where we hate Casey Anthony or anyone who murders, it is NOT worth it. Everyday my heart only wants justice without hate and for me, wanting justice is a whole different story. It is easy to go into denial after such a tragedy but denial does not help one heal. I know it may sound crazy but everyday I would think I would get a call from my loved one and I would remember that he was gone…taken away from me. The truth of that reality hurts but it also helps me go forward. The Truth somehow brings me peace. THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE. Coping will never have the power that Truth does. I will fight for my loved one’s justice and it is a shame that the Anthony’s have not done this for Caylee in word or deed. I have seen my loved one’s autopsy report and my heart aches and I only want justice that much more. I refuse to give Casey Anthony or any other murderer the power for me to hate because the choice to hate or not is mine, and I choose to not have any part of that. I believe the Truth always speaks the loudest and has a way of swallowing up every lie. The Truth is the only thing that will bring Justice. The Truth is as tough as nails and will not only heal but vindicate. Thank you for letting me vent and thank you Blink and those that help you bring justice for the victims and their families.
JUSTICE FOR CAYLEE AND ALL THE VICTIMS OF VIOLENT CRIME!
to the anthony’s: God’s Grace is sufficient even when the truth hurts and Love makes the truth conquer and overcome the pain and heartache because without it there is no going forward.
I am very sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you.
B
HAPPY NEW YEAR to the Blink, the Blinkettes and all the Blinksters!
HAPPY NEW YEAR to Valhall and the Valhallians, Vidalias, and Vegans, and So on…
Much Success to you in 2010 !!!
B
I believe that Cindy and George share a self hatred that you and I can never fathom. It’s deep in places you don’t talk about, and other people never see, but it’s there for eternity. I also believe that every day is “Goundhog Day” for them.
There are different kinds of “prisons”…
I heart u Kate. As the contributing editor to blinkoncrime.com who is probably on of the most intuitive and dogged researchers I have seen, I am in constant awe of your work. I do admit thought I envy your shoe collection on occasion.
I look forward to fighting the good fight with our team in 2010.
B
I agree with post #88 completely. Geaux Tigers!!!
I worked with someone like Cindy once for several years. She always had that “I’m smarter than you, my family is perfect, I can’t believe you can’t see it” attitude. No one wanted to be around her. It wasn’t until years later when we found out how truely miserable she was in her personal life that we had any compassion for her. By then it was too late, she had burned so many bridges.
The truth – all we want to hear is the truth. Will we, ever?
just an observation from watching Cindy in her Zenaida deposition on NG (BIG MISTAKE on my part) …. I never noticed before how thoroughly Cindy knows the Discovery documents, down to quoting the page number, paragraph, date and time … all quoted from her memory. She has studied the Discovery documents in every detail. Which is completely opposite of what her attorney has tried to portray that she is in denial and she does not read all the Discovery documents, and he has to tell her things from the Discovery. Cindy’s behavior and statements are definitely NOT a result of her lack of knowledge of the FACTS that LE has disclosed.
There is a difference between hate and disgust. Remember when casey was thrilled about all the attention she was getting and wanted to sign pictures of herself? She got that trait from her mother.
Cindy just LOVES the spotlight. She thinks she’s going to reap MILLIONS of grand-dollars from the books and movies and talk shows … she’ll be famous.
The most disgusting thing of all was when she set up a “command post” for a search she was actively trying to hinder. She didn’t want Caylee found. She wanted more mystery for a bigger payday.
I think if there wasn’t a financial and publicity incentive for her to act like this she wouldn’t be on casey’s side at all.
I don’t hate them. I wouldn’t be rude to them if I ran into them at Target. But I wouldn’t strike up a conversation with them either. I would simply ignore them.
I wish you a happy year. I could say happy new year, but I’m hoping that the happiness might last more than a few fresh days into the calender!
Thanks friend, would be nice, I Agree!! Happy New Year to You!
B
I don’t comment here very often Blink but wanted to say this was a great post. I enjoyed reading the dialogue it inspired. I’m also one who has been repulsed by Cindy and George’s behavior but I don’t hate them. I honestly think that Cindy’s state of denial is pathological. She can’t handle the truth so she denies it. It’s a defense mechanism that many of us use in varying degrees in order to cope with trauma. What could be more traumatic then having your beloved 34 month old granddaughter murdered by her own mother, your daughter? Especially if it was done deliberately to hurt you. Grandma Plesea’s statement, “I think she hated Cindy more then she loved her daughter” comes to mind. Anyways I digress, IMO Cindy will go to her death bed denying Casey’s culpability in Caylee’s untimely and heinous death. George and Lee, I think, are in protect Cindy mode.
But I don’t feel hate towards them and never have. Disgust when they’ve done their best to implicate innocent parties, but not hate. They’re already living in a hell on Earth and until Cindy accepts the truth, that’s where they’ll stay.
Thank you Nosy P- I am also inspired by many of the comments from this post.
B
O/T.
There are a lot of LSU fans here. In two hours we play our bowl game against PSU, also competing against their 200 year old coach, Jopa. I can geh-rawn-tee that even the most die hard Nittany Lions among us hold a soft spot in their hearts for the Bayou Bengals.
Now if we can only teach them “Hot Boudin, cold Cous Cous,..”
Let’s hope all these young kids playing this bowl season remain safe, along with our added vigilance in watching our own littles as they grow and prosper. Let’s be careful out there.
GGGRRR.
Going after J O P A now? Them’s fightin’ words. As you know I used to fold up his pants when he was a young 100.
B
There are a lot of LSU fans here. In two hours we play our bowl game against PSU, also competing against their 200 year old coach, Jopa. I can geh-rawn-tee that even the most die hard Nittany Lions among us hold a soft spot in their hearts for the Bayou Bengals.
Now if we can only teach them “Hot Boudin, cold Cous Cous,..”
Let’s hope all these young kids playing this bowl season remain safe, along with our added vigilance in watching our own littles as they grow and prosper. Let’s be careful out there.
YO
Going after J O P A? Them’s fightin words, Y’all.
As you know I used to fold up his pants for him when he was a young 100.
Grrr. See ya on the grid smack talker.
B
It’s a shame that the news networks don’t take a page out of some businesses playbooks with their marketing and sponsorship decisions. For example, take Tiger Woods. His violations were of the moral and ethical type, and for whatever their reasoning, sponsors and corporations are fleeing from him in droves. Casey took the life of an innocent two year old, her family has been uncooperative, and even obstructing. What do they receive for their blatant disregard for human life and the law? $200,000 for blood photos, crabpuffs, hotel stays, media exposure(regardless of whether it’s positive or negative), and chances to display their arrogance, narcissism, and disrespect for the law. I would think that considering Cindy and George will obviously be ‘hostile witnesses’, the state has enough evidence, both circumstancial and forensic, to not need C&G’s cooperation/testimony. Whether it’s done now or later, noone is above the law, and both of them should be charged with the appropriate crimes for their actions, or lack thereof. Had you or I lied under oath, or committed obstruction into an investigation, we’d already be sitting in the hokey-pokey wondering when the next time we’d get the opportunity to have “homemade chili”, instead of being served bologna and coleslaw! Enough of this two-sets-of-rules for everyone