Saying Goodbye For Now: Lung Cancer Ends Mom’s Valiant Fight At 63
As many of you know, my Mother has spent the last seven years battling lung cancer and subsequent secondary metastasis throughout her body. She quit smoking in 1986.
With an initial classification of stage 3B and a bleak prognosis , she endured herculean efforts to wage war against the silent enemy that only showed itself on PET scans.
The Red Baroness And Her Life's Co-Pilot
She was an avid true crime reader and case follower. In her last email to me, she reviewed my work in the case against Jerry Sandusky while lying in Oncology Intensive Care via her Blackberry that she smuggled in under her gown.
After three weeks of heinousness, she died peacefully Tuesday at the age of 63.
When she passed, she had 5 books on her nightstand and her Kindle; one of which I was sent by it’s authors for future review.
She told me she was willing to read it, but she was not going to do my job for me, LOL.
“I am overqualified and I am working on dying over here. I am not going do your work for you, plus I do not know how objective I can be”
Our Mom’s tenacity for knowledge was secondary to her sense of humor.
Last week when we brought her home I reminded her that the same things about her personality that kept her alive for seven years against all odds were going to work against her desire to take her last nap.
She responded, ” I know honey, I am dragging my parachute.” As the Olympics began, I told her she got the gold medal for outliving all the other patients in the oncology practice and with only one lung category.
She said, “Speaking of gold do you realize it is projected to rise to $1620 an ounce according to my ticker app. I answered, ” If you do not put that thing away and get some rest I am going to smother you with a pillow and speed this thing up.”
“Then use the new one you bought me. Your Father’s are flat and mushy and I cannot get him to part with them, OR ME, ba dump bump” , she said complete with hand gestures mimicking a drum set.
“No worries, I have Daddy signed up on 6 online dating sites including christian mingle something.”
She laughed so hard she had to push her bolus and shot back, “Now I know that is a lie, you are 43 years old and you put your thumb over the face of his prom dates in his old scrap books when you look at them.”
“AND.. I threw a gum wrapper in her front lawn when Dad showed me her house when we went to visit Grammy’s grave ions ago.”
“Charming. Maybe you might consider putting that on your growth area list.”
There was nothing secondary about her love of our Father, her girls or our entire family.
In the nearly 44 years they were married, I never once saw them argue. As kids, that was particularly daunting- we got away with nothing. The parental divide and conquer plan was non-existent in our home.
In my teens I used to be annoyed by her ability to walk into the middle of some early crime show and know exactly who did it and why.
A N N O Y I N G in the learning process.
E N D E A R I N G in the saying goodbye process.
Little did I know then- I would also be inspired by it. I know everyone says they have the greatest Mum in the world, but she truly was the best woman I have ever known.
Ma Mere did not go gently into the good night. She told the good night she would come when she was ready, and that she did. I will not be keeping this post up for long, this site and my work are dedicated to true crime.
While losing one’s Mother at 63 is very much a crime of sorts to me, we had the ability to spend our borrowed time together creating memories that will sustain us during the most profound loss I have ever experienced- many victims families of cases we cover do not. Frankly, as far as learning curves go, I have a new perspective on grief so I appreciate you indulging me with this announcement for a bit.
Private message to Mom: The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog 
I will be back in full swing next week, moderating until then.
My sincere thanks to all for your continued support at www.blinkoncrime.com, www.scaredmonkeys.com and www.scaredmonkeys.net.
I would also like to thank Hematology-Oncology Associates Dr. Friedman and Dr. Shaw. You were her care consultants operating with her directives, and your advice and compassion allowed us to bring her home.
I get that it is weird with 27 years in the business you come across the raging bull dressed like my 5′ 3″ tall Mother.
The energy you gave us at your surprise and delight to have her be a first in your practice is cherished and Thank You.
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Beautiful tribute Blink, I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs…..
TY Mas.
B
Dear Blink, I was so sorry to read of the passing of your wonderful Mom. I think all of us who read here felt as if we knew her…and really, we did. You shared her with us through all of your anecdotes, and our lives are richer because of it. She will be missed, my friend. Sending my deepest condolences to you, your family, your Dad, and all her many friends.
Grace, my dearest lady, thank you so.
B
My deepest sympathies on the loss of your beautiful mom.
TY Kindly.
B
Blink, thank you for sharing the heart-felt tribute to your Mother. I am visiting my 84 year old Mother next week (her birthday) and I have a renewed sense of appreciation for the time God has allowed us to share with her. God bless you and your family in this very difficult time.
Thank you leev- I cant think of a kinder compliment. Happy Birthday to your Mom.
B
Gosh Blink – just reading all the sweet notes – I feel so close to the BOC community right now. My mother died at 61 – I was 26 – my first child born when I was 30 – that’s when I missed her the most. Blink let me tell you – you can still talk to her – and she’ll answer. My dad died in 1988 – I was working 2nd shift on the 20th anniversary of his death – walked to my car in the darkened parking lot – the car’s inside light had never worked – but that night it came on – and it never worked again.
The relationship you had with your mom is still active. Talk to her. You’ll see what I mean. If you haven’t already, you’ll dream about her – and she’ll be gorgeous! Peace.
Thank you tango.
B
Blink,
My sincerest sympathy to you and your family.
It sounds like your Mom was such an inspiration to you and you had a wonderful relationship. May everything she taught you in life help bring you comfort & peace.
TY Kim.
B
Blink, I’m so sorry for your loss and so thankful that you shared with us. It brought up so many feelings of losses past and fear of future losses. I bawled, and laughed, and bawled some more! Thank you for sharing all of your thoughts because they help us all deal with our own grieving. Sending much love to you and your family…
Well that sounds just like my schedule these days, lol.
Thank you moxie. My Mom would love your hat. She used it interchangably with Chutzpah.
B
Blink,
I am so sorry for your loss. I am praying very hard for you and your family.
Stay strong. We are all here for you.
Praying for strength and comfort.
Love,
Dr. Pepper
Thank You Pep. Strong I am.
B
I am just now seeing this and am so deeply sorry Blink. I’m thinking of you and your family and sending you peace and love.
I lost my Mama eight years ago, her birthday is August 3rd. My family and I gathered yesterday at her favorite local restaurant and reminisced-as we do every year on her birthday. Our family has received a lot of messages from our Mama, in various forms. We appreciate them all.
I talk to her every day, more than once, even all these years later. We carry on a silent conversation. I can feel her presence in my life, albeit in a different form. She was and is still my best friend.
I can see from your beautiful tribute to your Mom, that you are best friends too.
There is absolutely nothing that can tear a love like that apart–even death is just a weak bully beating at the door, but failing to ever break it down.
We just have to forge a new relationship that takes a more inward seeking path and a little more time to negotiate it.
I have every faith that you and your Mom will discover a new way to communicate. The way she fought her long battle with cancer shows that she’s a tough cookie, and tough cookies don’t let anything stand in their way!
Thinking of you.
O Zeus. Inspiring and hog slopping alert.
Heart u
B
Blink , I am so sorry . Never is one ready to let go of a loved one. So difficult when a mom is too soon taken. My heart breaks for you . You know if ever you need to chat & it’s wee AM hours , I’m usually right here. If not ,you can call my cell number. It can be in 6 weeks 6 months or a year from now. I’m always here if you need an ear . Much Love to you & many prayers .
Oh F, you are the sweetest and I heart u
B
Best wishes Blink and family. I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. She sounds wonderful. Thinking of you.
TY Kindly christy
B
I’m sure your mother earned her wings long ago..That picture is classy. May God comfort you and your family.
lol, and then some, thank you kindly.
B
Condolances an heartfelt sympathy for you an all those who loved this brave soul…
Thank you ecossie- brave indeed. Fearless. If she ever had one, it only ever had to do with one of us.
B
Dearest Blink,
I’m So Sorry for your loss.
Your story is just so beautiful. Your mother sounds like the most amazing woman. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am thinking of you and hoping that you and your family find comfort and peace in the days to come.
Take Care and Thank you for your Amazing Website
J
J, thank you kindly, she was and is.
Yes, thank you so, I responded. I am way behind after a hog slopping break. Sans any hogs.
B
Blink and Family:
Sixty-three years fightin and laughin beats one-hundred-ten crawling and frowning. Your momma was TRUE and so then, are you. You were lucky to have her, God bless you all.
joe- My Mother would have adored your ability to hold educated debate, and for comments like this.
Her fave book was the velveteen rabbit ( keep in mind this woman has a library that could be an actual library) and her
Blessing You Back and Thanks friend.
B
Many prayers to you and your loved ones. You have a wonderful family and I know your mom is so proud of you as you obviously are her. Now, I gotta go slop the hogs…
Thank you Kate. You have the name she always loved but did not ever have in our family, lol
B
my dear friendLY
I wish I had words that could bring you comfort in a time when your heart feels too much, at once. After reading this beautiful tribute to your mother, a great warrior woman in her own right, I understand your heart is exactly where it needs to be. Your memories, the stories you’ve shared on BOC, your life experiences from being her lovely daughter, have already established a hedge of comfort and grace that will get you through. A blanket…lovingly, perfectly, purposefully, intently….hand stitched over 43 years, will bring that familiar feeling of unconditional love and strength you were blessed to grow up with. Wrap yourself in that blanket and know there are no regrets. Just love. It’s always about love.
My momma is grammy to her grandchildren. You’ve warmed my heart in your grieving. How thoughtful of you to share <3 I know I'm richer for reading your momma's story through your eyes.
"A human life is a story told by God". ~Hans Christian Andersen
Thank you God, for the life of Grammy Blink. Thank you for sharing her with us through the thoughtful, precious memories shared by her precious daugther. This story has many more chapters to come.
I have you and your family in my prayers. Be good to you, sweet friendLY o' mine.
(a dedication to the mother daugther relationship)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjuY91ArdWA&playnext=1&list=PLBF6C6E3066503881&feature=results_video
O dear Ragdoll- My FriendLY
May I offer my Mom’s favorite excerpt:
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
B
Blink, my condolences are still in moderation, so don’t know if you have seen them. Sending up many prayers for your Dad, you, your family and all of your mom’s friends.
I have and responded, many thanks, I apologize for running behind. So wonderful to see you as always.
B
heart…..
Heart u back as u know. Sigh.
B
You were so lucky to have had her!
I’m so sorry for your loss.
True Dat peg, thank you so much friend.
B
Dear Blink,
I am so sorry for your loss. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family during these difficult times. It is so hard when someone so close passes, but we know deep down in our hearts they are in a better place.
Your post was a truly beautiful and inspiring tribute to your mom. Thank you for allowing us to know just a little part of her. BTW, I loved the pic of her in the bi-plane, it was fantastic. Anyone who would go up in one of those has to have been a fun-loving and adventerous person.
During these hard and painful times there are never the right words to say to make things better. But as I have learned in dealing with my mother’s passing from cancer that its not supposed to be easy or painless. Grief just tells us how much we loved them and they us. Those we love never truly die, a part in them always remains in our heart and that makes us better and more caring individuals. We carry that piece of them until we meet again.
Please know you are in my prayers and whenever you need anything, please let me know. May the Peace of the Lord be with you and your family during these trying times.
Hang in there …
God Bless,
RED
O Redsy- we add to our journey don’t we? At least our together parts. Thanks for your compassion and insight AND because I am the only one allowed to call you Redsy
B
Blink, love to your Mom for giving the world the gift of you to bring voices to these victims. God bless her and keep her until you are together again. Love to you and your family.
Thank You Mom’s Namesake.
B
Oh My Dearest Blink….
My heartfelt condolences and prayers to you and your entire family.
To your Mom..standing applause for a life well lived and cherished.
She has left quite the legacy within her daughters and grandchildren.
Peace, prayers and hugs,
Gypsy DD
Gyps mon frier- sigh.
Thank you besty, Always.
B
I know that book well, my friend. How appropriate in a time when the circle of life turns out to be the biggest heart break a soul can endure. It is a bitter sweet journey.
Just a thought or 2, and please don’t burden yourself with a response…
Lean on the love and prayers being sent your way. Please know you are not alone in your grief and sorrow. It hurts like nobody’s business. Nothing about death makes sense. Nothing in the world can prepare us for the physical separation but your faith will carry you through. I lost my dad suddenly when I was 20. It still hurts 25 years later, but you will learn to live with a missing piece of your heart. It changes you forever. She dug deep to give you 7 more years. What a beautiful testimony to the character and strength she passed on to you and your sisters. Very precious.
Be true to who you are and grieve in your own special way. No guilt or judgement. She’s in a safe place now. Please don’t fear you will disappoint her by being ‘real’ with yourself and your family.
Take your time. We’ll all be waiting patiently, only when you are ready. *gentle smiles and hugs*
Blink
You need make no appologies in this time of grief. We all understand.
I hope you don’t mind, for I have copied your entire tribute and its comments to a file. There are so many wonderful comments that I did not want them to be lost to me. I captured the photo and blew it up to letter size putting it all in a folder that I often make for things deemed to be important. Behind the picture I placed a copy of a simple trumpet solo based on the Largo movement of Dvorak’s “New World Symphony” that is based on the negro spiritual “Goin Home”. This was taken from my first book of solos long out of print and older than your mom.
Thank you for your comments about my grandmother. I included that so you would understand that BJ will remember this time throughout his lifetime and how he responded to the need to meet his Grammys requirements for a clean place for her remains. Boys and yound men learn much from mom. Most of all they can learn early on to have good values and how to be a proper gentleman. You need not worry, this young man of yours already gets it. He will be a gentleman all his life.
I didn’t read carefully enough on your reply regarding both of your little ones. On a second reading, I picked up the concern about Blinkette holding things inside and as you called it “being in denial”. Some will do this. I don’t know why. I felt that she needed help in releasing her feelings so I asked the father in a prayer to give her the ok that she talk to someone in the family to release her grief.
Now I will need to get the latest comments including the beautiful post by Ragdoll and your reply with one of your mom’s favorite quotes. She knew truth and reality when she saw it.
Big Hugs to you and family
My most humble thank you.
B
No words. Sending love and support.
You.
No words back, just love to you and yours acho.
B
Blink – long time reader, but I don’t comment often. My heart and prayers to you and your family. I lost my mom when I was 14, and it is so hard. Simply beautiful tribute. Lots of love.
I cannot imagine losing My Mum at 14, may God Bless you Amanda, and I am so sorry for my loss.
I am extremely thankful for the time I had, which is of absolutely no consolation, my best to you.
B
blink ,ah, so sad, she was so young ,i am devasted that she was only 63.she took the fatefulness so well , that treasured spirit is so sentimental, . i would love to read more ,what a lovely way to memorialize her spirit by sharing this with us. rip momma blink!!! , she’ll definately be helpin with these cases from “up there” ,if there, is ,anything to the psychic stuff– ** crossing my fingers** your mom will let you know–lol!peace and best healing wishes to your family and loved ones.
Thank you susan.
B
Beautiful, Blink. And very hard too. The mention of your 30 minute trance on the sofa brought me right back to the year after my fiance died.
At the time I lived in a house which is built into a hill with a wrap-around deck; it’s 2 stories off the ground on the side face of the house. There’s a topped tree trunk in the side lot, left there to accommodate lighting. The evening of John’s funeral, I tranced on that deck long enough that my practically mute cat appeared on the trunk top in order to get eye level and meowed once, loudly to wake me. When I looked at him and said his name for the 1st time in days, he flowed to the ground; just like that. ‘Far as I know; the cat never scaled that trunk before nor after that evening, nor was he ever comfortable vocalizing.
This is your 40 day lent during which the spiritual precedes the mundane, this is your Book of Acts. Thank you for sharing some of it with us.
I had to hold this comment because it touched me so deeply I wanted to have an appropriate response.
I don’t, except to say that it touched me deeply and thank you, it is.
B
I’m so sorry, Blink. He really wanted her home. Now I understand why
A beautiful tribute. Love & peace to you & your entire family.
Thank you Mayhem.
B
Blink, I am sorry for your loss. I love the picture of your Mother and although I have never met her she and your amazing post are an inspiration. I recently got guardianship of my Mother who has a host of difficulties including a stroke. In the last three months I have moved her from Nevada to Montana she has seen 3 National Parks, rodeos, countless museums, art galleries,logged thousands of miles in scenic drives and next is Deadwood!. As her guardian I have to make some difficult decisions and one that has given me grief is her red jeep wrangler. She can’t drive anymore and wants me to bring it to Montana….so I can take her hunting for dinosaur bones… “It’s so impractical I’ve been telling her”. After reading this I’m going to get it next week. I was reminded of a plaque I read while attending the Crow Rodeo
LIFE IS NOT MEANT TO BE A JOURNEY TO THE GRAVE IN A PRETTY WELL PRESERVED BODY, BUT RATHER TO SKID BROADSIDE, THOROUGHLY USED UP, TOTALLY WORN OUT, AND LOUDLY PROCLAIMING,
“WOW WHAT A RIDE!”
Blink I have long admired the focus you keep on your blog but I hope you change your mind about removing this post…I may need to read it again.
Much love and many prayers,
Lizzy
That motto gave me a solid giggle, thank you lizzygoat. Kudos to you for bringing her red jeep
I may keep it, I just may.
B
May I make a gentle suggestion?
There are many great cancer communities we can donate to. My husband and I bought the yellow Livestrong (Lance Armstrong’s website) bracelets which symbolize the fight to cure cancer @ http://www.livestrong.com. His mom fought and suffered 5 years from the same disease as sweet Grammy Blink. In this case, his mom never smoked a day in her life. She was healthy, young spirited, determined, stubborn,positive and lived until the pain was too much…..wait….I think Grammy Blink and Momma in Law Ragdoll are long lost sisters (wink). She was given 6 months. She gave us 5 years. It can happen to someone you’d least expect. Smoking. Non smoking. What a reality check for our family. Praise God my husband quit when we decided to start a family over 10 years ago.
My family would be honoured to make a humble donation to the cancer institute in my community, in Grammy Blink’s memory, and loved ones we’ve lost along the way, due to this monster disease.
I hope some of y’all will be inspired to join the movement. All donations are considered a gift, regardless of the amount. No such thing as too small of donation.
It’s the least we can do for a sweet momma’s daugther, who began a site to help victims without a voice.
“So these three things remain: faith, hope, and love, but, the greatest is love”. 1 Corinthians 13
So sorry for your loss. There are no “right” words to say. But be grateful that you will see her again someday!
I am Angellica, thank you
B
Thinking of you and your family
Thank you Donnie
B
Blink,
My condolences to you and your family. You’re in my thoughts, and I am sending positive energy your way.
I hope that your spirits are staying strong during this difficult time and that you will feel the strength and love from the many people who care about you and your family.
Thank you so foos, I am.
B
Oh – I’m so sorry Blink. I didn’t know your Mum was so serious. I lost my beautiful sister last year at 59 years old to an aggressive brain tumor. She only lived 11 months after diagnosis. I have to tell you a little story that helped me to accept her death better. A few weeks before she died, we knew she was terminal, and I asked her for a favor – when she gets to heaven to give me two taps on my shoulder if heaven is everything I imagined it to be. She gave me a wink and a smile at my request. Well about 3 days after her death, I was in the bedroom of my parents house, and I sat down on the bed and my mind drifted off thinking of my sister. As I sat there, I got 2 taps on my left shoulder. I froze and I thought of my request. My sister let me know that heaven was indeed beautiful – just as I thought it was.
So rest assured that your mother is in a most beautiful place and with you and your family every time you think of her. She was such a force in your life, I imagine you will take her everywhere you go. They are never far away. Love and God bless to you and your family.
I found my Mother’s pink Ugg slipper we bought her for her birthday last year that she lived in, under her family room couch the other day. That was my sign, no question about it.
She would not wear them in the hospital for fear someone might misplace them or other, lol.
But never, on any occasion, have I ever known my Mother to leave a single shoe anywhere.
I told her 2 days before she passed that if she could I wanted her to give us a sign she was still with us.
She said, I will right after I try the food -and not with my mouthful.
Blinkette and I made Grandpop a Frittata for brunch today, with fresh tomatoes and basil from my garden and I supremely enjoyed being in my Mom’s kitchen. Progress.
B
I lost my dad two years ago to kidney cancer, suddenly, after arriving to visit him as he was initially going to have “back surgery.” the back was just a symptom of the real problem, and by the time it was realized we lost him within weeks. Now my mom has what is known as lewey body dementia. To give you an idea….it is described as a combination of alzheimers and parkinsons. This is heartbreaking to watch happen to my once lively, bubbly, and vivacious mom….she now barely speaks. There are times she knows and recognizes those around her, and other times, she seems vacant. I left her today, having travelled to ohio to visit her from k.c. My sister and I visit her often. Each time I leave, I don’t know if it will be the last time I see her. It kills me. I’m so sorry for your loss. It took me awhile to realize just how great my mom is. Sounds like yours was a gem, too.
ktina- having only had a few weeks where my Mom suffered brutally in physical pain , which at one point I actually asked God to take her already- something I never thought in a thousand years would come out of my mouth, I read your pain and feel it could have been worse. My Mom had a lesion on her brain in the end, and I can tell you what frightened her more than anything in the world is that it would take her mind.
A few weeks before she passed, she “butt dialed” me, and I could hear her reciting numbers from a distance and I was concerned about what she was doing so I called my Dad’s phone, and he said she was fine, she was memorizing all our phone numbers and then checking her phone to make sure she had them right. She felt she was dependent on the auto dials and what would she do if she needed to call anyone from something other than her blackberry.
I knew exactly what she was doing. I know how you feel, you are now in the reverse parenting role.
I cannot advise you on how to deal with the progression of your Mother’s illness, but I do highly suggest you speak to a therapist trained specifically in coping strategies for terminal illness.
As luck would have it (or as I know spiritual design) my Mother’s best friend and colleague of over 25 years is a therapist who volunteers her time with hospice families. Because she worked with my Mom in the interior decorating field, I had completely forgotten that until the other day.
I cannot tell you what a difference it made for me, and I can tell you that she is in our lives because of those few hours last week. Find these connections in your family and friends to help you through this because they are there. I am not a person that generally ever asks for help from anyone, if I can, so can you.
Peace, love and light. ktina
B
What is dying?
I am standing on the seashore.
A ship sails to the morning breeze and starts for the ocean.
She is an object and I stand watching her
Till at last she fades from the horizon,
And someone at my side says, “She is gone!” Gone where?
Gone from my sight, that is all;
She is just as large in the masts, hull and spars as she was when I saw her,
And just as able to bear her load of living freight to its destination.
The diminished size and total loss of sight is in me, not in her;
And just at the moment when someone at my side says, “She is gone”,
There are others who are watching her coming,
And other voices take up a glad shout,
“There she comes” – and that is dying.
O Starsky, I love that.
B
Hey friendLY
Just popping in to let you know I’m thinking about you all. Each day will be different. There’ll be good days and bad ones. As Truvy Jones saiys in Steel Magnolias….”Laughter through tears is my favourite emotion”. There will be lots of those days. At least, that was my expereince. Lots of ‘numbness’ and constant changing of thoughts and emotions. One step at a time, dear friendLY
Be true to your heart. You’ll fail no one. Lean on God and each other. It’s ok to be real with Him, too. Trust me on that one *heart heart heart*
My prayers and love~~~
So sorry, Blink, but love to you and your family. You are so lucky to have had the Mom you had, and she, very fortunate, to have you for a daughter. May the love of your family and friends keep her memory alive.
Thank you Laurie
B
PS…the signs are real. There are no coincidences. It can be a sign (pink ugg slipper), lyrics in a song, or visits in your dreams.
Embrace those ‘visits’. Not everyone is blessed to have experience these kind of miracles.
I felt my dad’s presence for 3 months after his death. It was strong. Coincidentally, he appeared to me in my dreams. He was just standing by, watching me. He looked young and at peace. He was light. He never said anything to me but I felt the love we shared. He always wore a gentle smile and there was so much love. As the months went on, he started to look smaller and smaller in my dreams. I had to start searching for him. When I found him, I’d say…’there you are. I couldn’t find you. (Years later, I realized he was going home). When the dreams stopped, I no longer felt his presence. I remember telling my family….he’s gone now.
Let her come to you, as it will be on her terms and the Lord’s. I know you can still talk to her and she will hear every word. She’s in another place where her time and space is no longer earthly (God’s time!). 3 months to me was probably a na no second for my dad. You’ll know. You just will.
Thank you for letting me share. I apologize if I come across as self indulgent at a time when you are grieving the death of your sweet momma bear. I promise, I have you in my heart in this very moment. My hope and intent is only to share what is possible in God’s great time. I believe there will be more encounters for a little while. Your momma was a strong presence in life. It makes sense she would be a strong presence just after her passing <3
Heart u
My sincere condolences for your loss. I love the picture of her in the plane. She’s always around you, Blink. We never truly die.
I have another picture of them in front of the plane together, and my Dad and I laughed the other day when I told him I would use that for his turn. He said no, use this one, it was Mom’s all time favorite.
She is sitting next to him playing a harmonica in a blues brothers hat. Hilarious.
B
So very sorry for the loss of your mother,Blink. It sounds like she was a wonderful person to know.
Thank Mimi. I can honestly say, unlike me, lol, I have never heard a person say a bad thing about her, or not adore her. She was truly kind.
B
Blink, I am sincerely sorry for your loss and your Mom sounds like such a wonderful person! Take care of yourself and know that she will be watching over you.
Thank you Keefer
B
@lizzygoat,
The Crow Rodeo quote resonated with me. I’ve been asked several times through the years how I’ve been so resilient after some real blows. After some thought, my response was that I probably know that I bring some of it on myself. Although relatively more risk-adverse in middle-age, I still like to live with AMPLITUDE, and if you’re going for the highs, you’re going to get the lows. And it’s so worth it. In fact, without the lows, would I appreciate the highs as much?
B’s Mom clearly live with amplitude.
lizzy
Lol true dat, lizzy. As usual, I appreciate your aptitude.
In your/her honor I came up with this:
If the attitude of the magnitude of your amplitude does not strive for infinitude, adjust your altitude and fortitude before your lassitude affects your beatitude.
With gratitude,
B
A beautiful tribute to your Mom, Blink.
Ty kindly Redly.
B
Blink,
So sorry to hear about your loss. What a beautiful tribute to an incredible person. I will be thinking about you and your family.
Thank you Cent/VA
B
Just checking on you..I thought alot about you and your family this weekend, this weekend was my Sons 11 birthday…after reading the story about your momma again, it inspired me. I was very refelctive to my own childhood and my grandmother and her influences on me….we are loosing her each day…coping has been hard….Your story about your mother made me realize something…. Your momma cherished you as a great gift from God and every day was a celebration of life with her… From now on-I am not just going to make memories on special occasions anymore, your mother and her love has inspired me to have memories everyday, you made me realize, we work and go home and get caught up in daily life we forget that special occasions happen EVERY SINGLE DAY with life..we are conditioned as a society to only celebrate when occasions happen….or when something happens….I have taken life for granted…getting caught up in the daily grind and what others expect of me…everything became so surreal/profound this weekend…..these victims you advocate for are precious lives, not just victims of a crime…the true advocacy came to light as i reread your tribute to your momma…a huge light came on…i seen butterflies all weekend too (and yes butterflies are my sign: my reassurance eveything is okay (started a long time ago when i doubted my faith))Long story short-I seen huge big Monarch butterflies after that…so this weekend i just reflected on past, present and future and my signs came by the treasure troves…more than ever…I know your mothers presence exist..She is everywhere with everyone now…Prayers to you for comfort and guidance….your emotions become calm and quiet so you can recieve the reassurance things will balance…(those hogs are getting fat)(as we all are feeding them) ;o))……I hope you feel the love and presence you Momma has, by this you have blessed us all with. Proverbs 31:10-31 Her life/gift is more precious than rubies–Her children rise up and call her blessed– Blink thank you again for sharing, I am humbled; undeserving/unworthy of this gift. But honored to have recieved it. Thank you so much..
btw–my kids keep asking me why my eyes are wet or red or crying..after making excuses all weekend and when they would catch me i finally came clean–i told them i was filled with emotions/ being reflective in thoughts/ and sad for someone…they say …HUH?? lol…My youngest asks, DO you or your friend need a hug? I told him I/we always need hugs! So here is your hug Blink {{(((BLINK)))}}
Prayers and loving thoughts for your family.
~A~